After months of hesitation, I finally made the decision to return home. Each step felt like a heavy burden. The memory of her smile on the night of the Greek dinner I prepared for her remains vivid in my mind. She appeared breathtakingly beautiful, radiating a golden glow that brightened the room.
As I ascended the stairs, my entire body trembled. I could hear her voice echoing, 'Chance, are you mad at me?' I chuckled softly at the notion. My hands shook as I entered the key code. The door swung open, revealing the aftermath of destruction I had left behind - the TV off the wall, glass shattered. It was time to start cleaning up.
As I cleared out each room, item by item, to discard in the dumpster, memories flooded back. The weight of the TV in my arms triggered her soft, fearful voice whispering, 'Put me down.' Recalling her initial fear when we first met, a solitary tear traced its path down my cheek as I threw the TV in the dumpster."
Thoughts of Star made the cleaning process more efficient and swift. After clearing out the living room and tidying the floor, I proceeded to the kitchen. I could almost hear her exclaim, 'Oh, fuck! Please don't let it be burnt!' The memory of her disappointed expression upon seeing the slightly dark omelette brought a smile to my face. However, her joyous reaction when I savored it made the moment truly priceless."
Uncertainty lingered as I grappled with the decision to return home, but my commitment to taking in the boys left me with no alternative. With the paperwork now sorted, there was no turning back. I couldn't envision raising them anywhere else; it had to be where her presence was most felt.
Deciding to take a shower, before the trucks come, the warm water enveloped me like a gentle embrace. " I was going to wash my man's back, if that's ok with you?" Her tender words lingered in the air as I rested my head against the shower wall, overwhelmed by longing. "I would give anything to feel your touch again!" I cried out, the mingling of tears and water offering a bittersweet release.
Exiting the shower, a wave of realization crashed down on me. At a mere 22 years old, the responsibility of caring for two twin boys consumed my thoughts. Doubts and fears crept in - "What on earth was I thinking? Can I truly manage this on my own?" The inner turmoil of potentially declining the kids and the fear of causing harm to them weighed heavily on my mind.
I needed to get dressed to arrange for the return of this furniture that should be here shortly. Absentmindedly, I opened my T-shirt drawer, revealing a black shirt among my white tees. As I lifted it, it read, "Hey dad... you're awesome."
This damn girl has turned me into a crybaby. I really miss her.
In that moment, sitting there in a towel, clutching the shirt, tears and a smile mingling on my face, A'Rio entered the room, footsteps trailing behind him.
A'Rio playfully covered Te-Te's eyes and guided her out of the room, prompting laughter from me. "Hurry up and get dressed!" he shouted.
Te-Te protested, "I want my hug, and I want it now!"
After a few moments, I carefully folded the shirt exactly as she had and returned it to the drawer before getting dressed. Stepping out of my room, I found Mia, Makayla, and K-shine organizing the kitchen, while Fin and Alisha hung up pictures and decor. Lucky and Jamal assisted with unloading the furniture from the truck. A'Rio and Te-Te embraced me. "We've got you," A'Rio reassured me. "This circle may grow, but it will never be broken."
"D-Lo arrived shortly after we finished with the twins. 'Allow me to show you to your room,' I said, feeling nervous. As Liam intertwined his hand with mine, I realized we were in this journey together, one day at a time.
'Now that you'll be both my parent and coach, do you think you could go a bit easier on me?' Lucas quipped, chuckling.
'Not a chance!' I replied with a smile."
After they had unpacked, Liam spoke up, "I need to say goodbye."
Inhaling deeply, I grappled with my decision not to attend the funeral it was too soon, I felt unready. With closed eyes, I turned to my right and spoke softly, "Let's go. A'Rio, would you mind driving me?"
His silent nod was all I needed.
"We'll all be there for you," Fin reassured me, Toni's comforting presence evident by her side.
I sat on the ground, my heart heavy with sorrow, and waited. Each person says their goodbyes, laughter mingling with tears, memories of you flooding my soul. Baby you were loved girl. As Liam walked away, he was the last one. I made my way to you, laying beside you. My head cradled by the earth, tears streaming down my face, aching for your presence. "How could you promise to always be there and then leave me?" I whispered. "You were my everything. I say out loud. "You spoiled me, girl. I miss the way you laughed and how you use to teased me. I miss the sound of your voice, I miss my friend, man! I miss holding you. I miss your light, baby. I just miss you. The thought of never witnessing you in a wedding gown or carrying our child breaks me. I long for those moments, to see our love blossom into a new life. You had me crying like I'm soft, man. Over, of all things, a t-shirt, yeah. Then guess what? All those clothes you started ordering started arriving, still sitting at the door. Man, damn, I'm messed up right now. I want you here with me so bad. I'm supposed to be over here saying goodbye, and I'm plotting on how I can steal you from heaven.
Liam's Goodbye
Star...I am not crying anymore... I am holding it in. I need for it to build up inside me until the hurt and pain transform into rage, and that rage evolves into hatred, fueling an obsession for one thing.
Someday, I will be big and strong, and on that day, everyone who was spared will rue my arrival. I vow that he will feel my hands as he draws his final breath.
YOU ARE READING
My Star
RomanceThis story serves as the conclusion to the narratives of "Lucky," "A'Rio's Redemption," "Just Leave," "You Should've Chosen Me," and "Who Gone Stop Us." This is Chance's story.
