moon river | paige bueckers

chapter one

I hate the north.

I'd better learn to like it, but right now, I hate it.

Although I'd been living in this region of America for the past three years, the homesickness persists.

It feels like just yesterday I was an anxious freshman moving into my tiny dorm at the University of Michigan, hugging my family goodbye as they traveled, what felt like, a million miles back home. Today I do the same, but instead, I'm moving into my apartment, now a senior at the University of Connecticut.

"Call every morning and night," my mom says, her eyes overflowing with tears.

I let my head hang. Every year she says the same thing, and every year I do my best to uphold my side of the agreement. "Yes, mother, I know." I shifted my gaze to my dad. His eyes were red, and he blinked quickly when I noticed him.

"Oh, not you too!" I walk hurriedly towards the door and motion for them to exit. "We've done this enough, guys. The tears are insane." My parents let out a sigh.

"Okay, okay." My mom takes a huge breath, dramatically wiping the tears away. They look around my room one last time. My brother, who had been sitting on his phone for over an hour, finally stands up.

"Wait! Picture, guys!" I groan. I lug myself from the door to the designated "picture spot" my mom had deemed perfect: the big window in my living room. Unfortunately, she was right; the window gave a perfect view of the campus and the beautiful, bustling life of Storrs.

My dad held out the phone, his voice soft as he started counting down from three. I glanced at the screen, my heart heavy. My dad forced a wide smile, but it didn't quite reach his eyes. My mom, her mascara smudged from tears, blinked quickly, trying to hold it together for just a second longer. My brother stood behind me, giving me bunny ears, like always — as if nothing had changed.

But everything had. I swallowed the lump in my throat. They had my whole heart, and soon, they'd be gone again.

The tears started in my eyes now.

I watched as they left me in this entirely new town. I thought back to that scared freshman at UMICH who was now a scared senior at UCONN.

I was alone again. The north always stripped me of the people I loved.

I hate the north.

- 

Two hours had passed since my family left, and I hadn't moved from the couch.

I decided I needed to get out, and hopefully do something to take my mind off missing home.

My "move-in" clothes were sweaty and stained with some tears, so I threw on something fresh. Luckily, I got a free UCONN shirt from my last visit here because other than that, my closet was all Michigan.

I opened my shorts drawer and found an envelope.

Open when you've found yourself.

I traced the writing with my index finger, then placed the envelope on my dresser, resting it against my vanity.

My freshman year, my family left a similar envelope in my Michigan dorm. I can't quite remember the contents, but the outside of this one said, "Open when you're finally out of your shell." Guess my senior year is finally the year I find who I am.

I turned back to rummaging through my shorts, holding back more tears.

-

I had moved in pretty early, so the campus was quite dead. Classes don't start for another month, but as a trainer, I'm required to be here with the sports teams.

Walking around campus, I spotted the basketball facility. During my tour, I clearly remembered the emphasis on Gampel Pavilion, home to the women's and men's basketball teams.

I secretly hoped I would be assigned to one of the basketball teams. My dad religiously watched UCONN basketball when I was younger. No one was fangirling as hard as he was when I told him I got a job offer and an athletic training scholarship from UCONN. Growing up with UCONN in the background every winter might have influenced my choice to move.

I walked to the campus café. There were a few athletes there, some from football and what looked like volleyball.

I sat at a corner table near the window. I hadn't decided whether I was going to be productive or just scroll on my phone, so I pulled out all my electronics.

As I started to open my emails, I spotted a familiar face walking into the café. I remembered her from my tour when I met the training staff. Her name started with an "N"—that, I hadn't forgotten.

She spotted me, and a smile spread across her face. I desperately tried to recall her name as she headed toward me.

"Halle, oh my gosh," she said, sitting in the seat across from me. "How are you doing, girl?"

She was very smiley. I remembered that from my tour as well.

"Just said goodbye to my family, so... yeah, not great." I forced a laugh. She gave me a small smile.

"Mm, I know that feeling all too well. Trying to take your mind off it?" She motioned toward my setup.

I glanced down. "Yeah, trying." My lips pressed into a line.

Her smile grew as if she'd just remembered something. "Well, if you want something a little more fun to do," she shimmied her shoulders, "you can come hang out with us tonight."

"Us" probably meant the rest of the training staff. 

I shrugged. "Sure, I don't have much else to do." Her smile widened.

"Perfect. You remember Jrue and Kyla, right?" She tilted her head. I felt like I did, but meeting these people again would be like meeting them for the first time. I nodded slowly. "Yeah, you don't, it's cool." We both laughed.

She pulled out her phone from her bag and started typing. "Put your number in," she said, handing the phone to me. "We're going to some random bar and then probably just chilling for the rest of the night." I finished putting in my info as she talked.

"Cool," I said, handing the phone back.

I expected her to leave once we exchanged numbers, but she stuck around.

"I know you already had your tour, but..." She inhaled, "Do you want to walk around a little? To be honest, I'm bored today."

I smiled. "Yes, please. I need to be outside."

She shot up out of her seat. "Yay, okay!"

Once I had finished packing up every electronic I didn't use, she turned back to face me. "By the way, my name's Nazareth, but everyone calls me Nazzy, just in case you forgot that too." I gave her a thankful nod, not knowing if I should admit that I had, in fact, forgotten her name.

We walked out into the crisp July air. I had been used to Houston summers, so the weather up here was always inviting.

We walked around for about an hour, just talking and looking at everything.

I don't know why, but I already liked her.

Maybe she could help me come closer to opening that letter