(PAUSED) Changes (Suicidal Kirishima x Bakugo)

Concern

Kirishima's POV:

I woke up in my bed, still covered in bruises. I tried lifting my head up, but was met with pain all over me. It continued to slowly worsen until I laid my head back on the pillow again. I took a sigh of frustration, and lifted myself off of the bed for a final time. Despite the pain, I had managed it and started walking downstairs. On my way, my eyes blurred for a second, and I tripped over my wiring and fell down the stairs. I just got up, shrugged it off, and continued to walk to the freezer. Inside was a couple of ice packs on top of it. I grabbed a few of them, and wobbled my way up to my room.

I saw on my bed, and placed the icepack on my stomach. My stomach probably had the biggest bruise out of all of them so I had to place it there a bit longer.

After 10 minutes, I added another icepack on my arm. My arms had smaller and less painful wounds, so I didn't take too long placing an icepack on each of them. After an hour of doing so, the pain started to fade well enough for me to bear it. I checked the time on my phone, and it was 3pm already.

I walked out of my room, and down the stairs, to check the kitchen for some food. As usual, there was barely anything left. Just some banana peels and an half eaten apple. Great.

I should've known from the start that it's always gonna be like this. I sighed and ordered some pizza from Pizza Hut (just to clarify that I personally like Pizza hut the most, but other restaurants serving pizza, like Domino's, is pretty good as well. I'm not biased) I waited for a couple of minutes, before hearing a doorbell ring. I rushed over to open the door, but as I reached for the doorknob, I saw my arm in view and realized that I still had pretty visible bruises and scars. I wrapped on a hoodie, that covered the ones on my arms and stomach, and opened the door. Seeing who the person was, I was taken aback for a second.

"Hey dude, what's up with the hoodie, it's not even cold outside." Kami pointed out while holding my doordash delivery. I started to panic, thinking that he noticed, so I took the order from him, and quietly shut the door. I felt a relief wash over me...until I feel my phone buzz.

I knew he was gonna call me back asking what's going on. Imma call it. I sighed as I answered him.

"Hey dude, why'd you shut the door on me? I was just asking a question." His voice sounded a bit hurt, but he continued on. "Is everything okay, you looked really tired."

See?

"Yeah I'm fine, just stressing over falling behind in school." I awkwardly laughed as I turned my gaze away from him. 

"That's okay, I got you your homework, but I left it at home. Should I give it to you now or later?"

"Now would be fine." I mumbled loud enough for him to hear as we said our goodbyes and I shut the door, looking at the fresh pizza box in the kitchen. I then took off my sweater and looked at my stomach and arms. I've been noticing that I've been gaining weight, can't tell it's because of my muscle gain or just me eating too much in general. Either way, I had to get rid of it.

By any means possible.

I placed the pizza in the fridge, and took a glass of water instead. I couldn't eat too many calories right now, I already ate breakfast.

That was already enough.

~20 minutes later~

I was sleeping when I heard a faint knock on the front door. I dragged my sloppy legs to be seen with Kami again. This time, as promised, he was holding some books and a folder.

"Here's all the work that you're missing, and inside that folder is just some notes that someone else wrote for you." He gave me a nod before walking away, shutting the door behind him. I turned around, looking at the amount I had, and let out a long sigh. 

School doesn't give me a break, does it? I took my seat, and picked up my pencil. I opened a book, and all the questions and words and shit hit me like a train. It was too much for me to process. I closed the book and opened my folder, where I saw some of the notes that I missed in class. My eyes felt heavy, but I knew that I had to go on. My mom would kill me if she knew that I was so far behind.

After what seemed like a while, I checked the time on my phone. It was around 5pm, and I still wasn't done with even half of my homework. My eyes couldn't take it anymore, and before I knew it, my head laid on the desk fast asleep.

~3 hours later~

I suddenly woke up to a sharp pain on my shoulder. Slowly opening my eyes, I realized that I was on the floor, and there was a figure standing beside me. After a few seconds, I finally knew who it was and scrambled up to my feet. Once she knew that I was fully awake, she started yelling.

"Are you serious? You have all this homework, and it doesn't seem like you're even halfway done, and you were sleeping? Are you THAT LAZY, EIJIROU? I DIDN'T RAISE YOU TO BE A SLOTH. YOU HAD ONE JOB, AND IT WAS TO CATCH UP WITH THE CLASS, AND YOU CAN'T DO THAT?? NOT EVEN AT HOME?? I didn't realize that I raised such a fucking failure. Before you know it, you'll probably be hanging out alone in the streets! I don't want that for you..don't you understand?? I'm trying to HELP you, and you're just THROWING IT ALL AWAY!! You know what..." She mumbled before stepping closer to me, her face inches away from mines, "I want you to finish that by tomorrow evening...you're lucky that I'm giving you extra time. You better finish it by then, or its wraps for you." She said threateningly before shoving me and walking out of my room. I took a huge sigh of relief as she didn't do anything really bad to me...yet.

I looked back at my homework, but my brain was too tired to even think at all. Still, I forced myself to sit down and be at least halfway done with it. After ten minutes, I felt myself getting distracted. The moon was already starting to rise, and I just found myself gazing at the stars. I snapped back to reality when I heard a voice ring in my head.

It's only been a few minutes and you're already distracted? Cmon Kirishima, you're already a disappointment to your mom. You don't want to be called 'useless', either, don't you? How can you be a hero if you can't even do one thing correctly? Like a failure.

Stop...

I'll always be in you, reminding you of every single mistake that you make, no matter what you say. You need someone to remind you to be more useful at least.

I am useful..

Oh really? Then why are you so far behind? Heroes always aim to be AHEAD, not BEHIND. Of course, that's just something that you're so good at. At least try a little harder.

I am...

Well, it seems like your efforts aren't enough! Work harder, go beyond the limits, anything! Just don't be a disappointment, not that you already are. Just saying.

I couldn't take it anymore. I hopped on my bed, covered myself under the sheets, and just played some calming music to distract my mind. It was slowly working, and within minutes, I was fast asleep while having the view of the starry sky.