Disclaimer: Don't own! Also got the title from a lyric from Seasons of Love in the musical Rent, don't own that either
Hey buddy, It's me Dallis! A whole year Cliffy since you left us. Sometimes it still doesn't feel real. I rewind that night in my brain like a VHS tape on repeat: My little brother waking me up, talking to James and Lars on the phone, breaking down on my kitchen floor.
We're visiting your grave today. James is beside me, holding my hand, my new ring glinting in the sun. Ya hear that Cliffy? James and I are engaged now. You always said I was the best damn thing that ever happened to him. James always reminds me of that. I wish you were here to celebrate with us. Shoulda seen it dude! James pulled out all the stops! A picnic by the San Fran Bay with the Golden Gate Bridge as our backdrop, huge bouquet of flowers, even a basket of our favorite take out (cuz we both know that Supper A La Chef James would've resulted in either burned food, a kitchen fire or both!). After a lovely meal and the lights from the city glittering all around us, James got down on one knee and asked the question! James told me later that he heard your voice: "Get 'em Het! Ya finally did it!" As happy as we were, we both ended up shedding tears for you when we told the guys the news, wishing your face was among those of all our friends.
Kirk, Lars and the new guy came with us. We sit in a tight circle in the grass, the cool fall breeze blowing on all of us. The leaves are finally beginning to turn, the sky a crystal blue. You always said Autumn was your favorite season, the season for spookiness you always called it. Halloween's coming soon, do angels wear costumes in heaven? I bet you'll have the best one! You always loved to get all dressed up with me for the holiday.
The new guy isn't all that bad, although James n' Lars (Kirk too) have been givin' him all kinds of hell. His names' Jason and he's a pretty cool dude. He's no you obviously, but he keeps up well. He even said he was and is a big fan of yours, so I guess that helps some. No one can replace you bro, but I think if it had to be done, Jason's the right guy so far. I know you'd want the boys to continue. The music they've created would make you proud Cliffy, it really would.
365 days and 525,600 minutes without you in our lives. Sometimes when I'm in a bad way, reminded that you got taken away, I get so angry I can't stand it. Thank my stars I have James, I don't know if I could grieve you alone. We keep each other grounded through the long, depressing nights when our mourning is at its worst. Bottom line: We miss you Cliff! You were supposed to come back too! Damn that driver! Damn that night! DAMN THAT FUCKING BUS!! They all took you away; IT'S NOT FUCKING FAIR!!!! I'm crying on James' shoulder now, harder than I have in a long time.
"Shh. It's okay baby, I'm here. I know, I miss him so damn much too. You're not alone," James whispers in a soothing voice into my ear. My tears subside for the time being as he lifts my chin, earning me a sweet kiss. For the first time in months, I can hear your voice.
"Hey sis! Dont'cha dare be sad for me ya dork! No more cryin' or else I swear I'm gonna come haunt your ass come Halloween! I'm so happy for you and James. And you know that I'm always gonna be here for you, even when you don't think I am. Just take care of the boys for me! Love ya kid."
I will Cliff. I promise, can't make any promises on the sad part though. Love you too! I find instant comfort in your words. 365 days and 525,600 minutes without you! So far it's been and gonna be a hard road to hoe but we'll always love you and never forget you! I'll be back to celebrate Halloween!
YOU ARE READING
365 Days 525,600 Minutes Since You Left Us
Fanfiction: A sequel to another story "A Brother Lost, A Love Gained". Dallis reminisces and grieves with the 'Tallica Boys at Cliff's grave site a year after his death.
