i think the only thing that keeps me
holding on to the barbed wire — blood
dripping between my fingers,
flesh hugging the rust of it
but still clinging desperately —
is the urge to be able to see it all.
but i am honestly scared
to the new mornings that will come
knocking on my window,
because i will never know what they
will offer unless i open it and welcome
them.
the unknown scares me.
its uncertainty of being well
makes my intestines eat their own.
it’s because i always want to be reassured
that everything will be fine.
i want those words to be whispered
in my ears,
especially at times when i no longer
know what to do,
and the only choice left is to
watch things fall.
but still, i don’t want to let go.
i don’t want to raise the white flag yet,
for i am here for the thrill
of feeling the fear
crawling up my spine.
i want to feel the burning sensation
down my core
when times when i badly want to
explode come.
i want to give life a chance
to be better and kinder to me
because i’ve been facing
different kinds of pain
in different ways.
and i will never forgive it
if it failed to make me feel
and experience the feelings
and experiences that i deserve.
i still hold on,
securing my limbs,
putting all of my strength to my fingers
out of desperation,
because i believe that there’s something
more than this side of the moon
that i always see.
YOU ARE READING
Found This Book Somewhere In The Forest
Poetry"Talk to my soul later midnight, when the moon's at its peak. That's the only way of communication that I know, because my physical lips will stutter if I told you about how I want to tear my human skin apart and go out."
