From Her Perspective (BWWM)

XX

Auriella Devereaux

Two years ago

I paced the room and ran a hand through my hair. I heard Billy sigh behind me.

"Ella, you need to calm down. Come here, baby," he said as he reached for me. He pulled me into him and wrapped his arms around me.

"There is nothing to be afraid of, baby,"

"Nothing to be afraid of? I might be pregnant, Billy. We have everything to be afraid of," I told him as I glanced at the pregnancy test on the counter.

"I know this isn't ideal. I would've rather waited until we were officially together, but how can I not be excited about possibly having a kid with you? I know that we aren't exactly the embodiment of parenthood, but we can figure this out together,"

"I don't know how to be a mother. I never had one," I said, letting out a breath I didn't know I was holding.

"You are the most loving person I know. Ella, if we are pregnant, we will show this baby so much love. They'll never go without. They'll never grow up the way we both did. They'll know that we will always show up for them. We'll be the parents we never had," he said as his deep green eyes pierced through mine.

"Billy, I—" I began but was cut off by the sound of my timer going off.

"I can't look at it," I said as I shook my head. He nodded, walked to the counter, and took the pregnancy test. I heard a deep sigh before he turned around.

"It's negative," he said. I could see the disappointment in his eyes.

"Billy, I understand this may be confusing, considering we're in each other's beds every chance we get, but I don't see a future between us. This is fun but complicated. I'll never get past you leaving me,"

"Ella, you know that day is my biggest regret. You know that, baby. I thought we were moving forward,"

"I can't do that with you. If you need us to stop this, we can," I said. He shook his head and walked towards me, wrapping his arms around me.

"No, no. This is enough. I can handle this, okay?"

"Are you sure you can do this?"

"Of course, I can," he said as he leaned down to pull me into a kiss.

Present

I held the phone close to my ear as I heard a knock at the door. I peeked through the window and saw my brother standing at the door.

"We can still be friends. Hey, my brother's here. We'll talk soon, okay?" I told Billy as I went to open the door.

"Of course," he said before I hung up.

My brother, wearing a small backpack, stood at my door with sad eyes.

"Jamison, is everything okay?" I asked. He slowly shook his head and let out a breath.

"I'm sorry. I should've called first. I just didn't know where else to go," he said as his eyes watered and he shivered from the cold.

"No, it's alright. Come in," I said as I stepped aside. I led him to the kitchen and put on a pot of coffee.

"Did something happen at home?"

"Lisa and I got into an argument about you and Leo. She wanted your phone numbers and addresses to convince you two to give her another chance. Said it wasn't fair that I get to have a relationship with you when she doesn't get to. I told her to respect you guys' decision to not want anything to do with her, and she called me ungrateful for 'saving me from foster care'. She said you two would never accept me as your brother because I'm a screw-up. She told me to leave and to not come back,"

"You are not a screw-up. Look, fuck Lisa. You live with me now, okay? As a matter of fact, I think we both need a fresh start,"

"What do you mean?" he asked as I poured him a cup of coffee.

"I signed my divorce papers today, and you should finally be able to live with someone who wants you around. I think we could both use a change. We can go wherever you want. You can try anything you want. You can go to school online, and we can travel while you figure yourself out," I said. He smiled and nodded.

"Nobody's ever given a fuck about me before,"

"Well, you didn't have me and Leo before. We got you now, little brother,"

He smiled and came around the island to pull me into a hug.

"I love you, Auriella,"

"I love you too. You know you'll always have a home with me, okay?"

"I know,"