KOI NO YOKAN

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

Ithiel took a deep breath and stared at the person in front of her, her hands stayed on the side of the door she just opened and her lips parted.

She blinked and swallowed. Somehow, she felt relieved upon seeing him.

He blinked and then slowly looked away, none of us spoke as we stood in front of each other.

"Are you okay?" I breathed the words and smiled at him.

He slowly shifted his eyes back at me and didn't return her smile but I could see the way his tired eyes glistened.

"Are you?" he whispered back.

I opened the door wider for him to come in and he did, he looked around and I knew he saw the ongoing project I'm currently working on when he knocked on my door.

It's been almost three weeks since the last time I saw him. I heard from Kuya Erreo that he's dealing with something but I didn't bother asking what since it is not my business.

I licked my lips, wiped my hands clean, and watched him slowly make his way to my small dining table and take a seat. He put the paper bag on the table and leaned on his seat as he stared at the painting I was working on.

"I think there's something wrong with me." I heard him say softly and emotionlessly.

I stood between where he was and where my canvas was located.

"How.. how can I go from celebrating my birthday full of happiness and hope to this being a mess and broken?"

There was a thud on the table and when I looked at what it was, he just put the Bible I gave him beside the paper bag he had with him.

"I read the whole thing," he said and swallowed, my lips parted upon hearing him and my eyes stayed on him.

"She made me read the whole thing," he said amused as he lifted his teary eyes at me.

"You saw her?"

"She showed herself the night after we celebrated my freaking birthday, she showed herself to blame me and to let me know what I did wrong in our relationship and whys he didn't wait on me, and why at the end, she got married and I fell back on the hole." I took a step back when he shed a tear.

He's crying.

"Kasalanan ko pa pala kung bakit nag mukha lang akong tangang naghintay ng walong taon, she said I didn't love her enough, and that I didn't know her that much, I didn't choose to love her better and that I chased my dream and left her, mas pinili ko 'yung kung anong gusto ko, ang pangarap ko, she showed that she supported me and that she was happy for me but at the end of this, I was wrong and I should've asked her one more time if she meant what she said about chasing it. I was also questioned why I stayed loyal and faithful for so many years, what was the reason why I did it? Was it really because I believed in the love I had for her? Did I really wait for her? Was it all just a cover-up? I don't know anymore." natawa siya ng mahina.

"Can you believe that? It was my fault why I got broken-hearted."

I licked my lips as I listened to him cry, walked back to my stool, and took a seat. I faced him and created a distance between the two of us and didn't speak and just let him let it all out.

I felt my heart pounded when my eyes shifted abc at him and he was staring at the Bible.

"If he loves us so much, if he loves me, why does it hurt so much?" he shook his head and smiled but his tears continued to fall.

"She was the love of my life, I gave her everything, I endured whatever we needed to endure to chase and have the dream for her sake for the both of us, but then after I watched her get married to somebody else, she showed her face to me and blamed me why everything happened, ako pala ang may kasalanan. I was accused of not loving her enough, not knowing her better, not choosing to stay." our eyes met and he smiled a little at me.