Anathema's Web

Three

We are often ignorant of the evil amongst us, particularly those connected to familial or familiar chains.

A part of us denies their existence, for it would mean that we too must reflect on the parts of our souls desperate to commit atrocities for the sake of greed, power, and even love.

The frenzy of the Boston Gazette held no measure equal to that of Kote's mind, a turmoil of neurons bouncing off the inner walls of her brain. It did not assist her imagination to continuously read scientific journals- mostly in hopes of finding a case similar to her own hindrance- but the rushing of Gazette employees reminded Kote of those tiny particles rushing around with warnings of an unforeseen emergency. Whatever the neurons saw in her future, they were loud and expressive against what was to come, filling her with an anxious mind and a heart of dread.

In this case, Kote estimated the emergency was that of her stranger from three days ago.

The calmness in her vulnerability with a man she did not know vanished the second she left Mrs. Pollier's property, remaining ever since she escaped home to tell her father. Upon confession to him, he held no reprimand nor kind words- any words at all, as he continued to read his case files with a small humph of acknowledgment.

While she was grateful for once the man did not raise his voice, it perturbed her if she was overanalyzing the situation, or if she perhaps did commit some carnal sin. It felt so strange... a connection and spark within herself she never once recognized or felt, and oh how this craving ate her insides. As much as she could not pinpoint or recognize which particular emotion she felt, there was no other perpetrator to this sensation but her stranger.

Kote now observed these Gazette employees in their natural state of business, wondering if she would feel this dread that flooded her stomach forever or if the aching of her heart so new to her would beat on for eternity in some passionate agony. A part of her wished for some reprimand to stop these feelings from existing. It felt like a strange grief to never feel this way again, left with the empty void that never goes away, just minimizes itself over time.

It was just a stranger...it meant nothing, she continued to repeat herself as if this mantra would release her from her thoughts and feelings.

Ignorance of her feelings only worked when she was not in pain, and as she glided across the marble floors in an anxious mind, her body felt still and safe from physical excruciation. Yet, sometimes not having the pain was worse than experiencing it. It was one thing to worry incessantly when the pain was not there, for it was a monster hiding in her clothes that would bite upon her flesh when it was ready to announce its arrival. Add the lovely addition of worry over a man to her system, Kote was considerably overwhelmed with possibilities and feeling quite foolish over her emotions. The room around her felt warm, despite the cool Boston air flowing in from the windows and cracked-open doors.

The collapse of memories of his face, how his hands felt against her waist, how close his lips were before they were to kiss- if they were, for Kote knew naught whether she had read the signs accurately, if she initiated everything or he had...

Whether this was all a delightful dream or a soon-to-be nightmare, Kote sighed angrily in attempts to wash away all thoughts of this stranger. Overthinking was the death of the mind, her father always said, and for once she admitted he was rightfully well-spoken on the subject.

"Kote!"

With a sigh of reprieve upon recognizing the voice, Kote turned to watch her friend Alice hustle her way through the crowd in perfect resemblance- which made sense given that Alice's father owned the Boston Gazette and her friend for the most part besides her countenance and gender, fit right in. Her tanned brown skin stood out against her white blouse and blue flared pants, a sight to many visitors horrifying yet Kote understood her friend to be anything but shocking. Alice was of a hard constitution and mind, always looking for something to do and some story to uncover however small.