"Love‚ what if I decide to become a priest?" Cedrick asked‚ his voice soft but serious. I looked at him‚ trying to process the words that just came out of his mouth. Three years na kaming magkasama. We've been through so much together. Ang dami na naming napagdaanan‚ mga plano‚ at pangarap. And now‚ this?
"Ano ka ba‚ love? Biro ba 'to?" I replied‚ ngumiti at inisip na baka nagbibiro lamang ito. Pero sa mata niya‚ I could see he wasn't joking. He was dead serious. My smile faded. "Totoo ba 'to?" I asked‚ my voice trembling a little.
"Oo‚ Sofia. Hindi ito biro‚" he said‚ looking down. "Dalawang taon ko na 'tong iniisip. I just didn't know how to tell you."
Two years? Hindi ko ma-explain ang nararamdaman ko. Dalawang taon niya na pala itong pinag-iisipan and all this time‚ he never told me. "Why now? Bakit ngayon pa?" I asked‚ tears escape from my eyes. "Bakit hindi mo agad sinabi? Three years tayo. We've built so much together‚ tapos bigla mong sasabihin gusto mong mag-pari?"
"I didn't want to hurt you‚ Sofia‚" he whispered. "Pero... I need to follow my heart."
I couldn't stop the tears from falling anymore. Ang sakit. It felt like my heart was being fall apart. "So‚ all this time‚ habang tayo... habang bumubuo tayo ng mga pangarap‚ you've been thinking about this? You've been thinking about leaving me?" My voice cracked.
"Hindi ganun‚ Sofia. I love you. Mahal kita at alam kong alam mo 'yan pero ayoko nang patagalin pa." Cedrick said.
"Naiintindihan kita‚" I said‚ kahit deep inside‚ my heart was breaking. "Pero bakit ako? Bakit tayo? Why did you let us build all these dreams kung in the end‚ aalis ka rin? Daya daya mo!"
"Because I thought I could stay. I thought I could push it away‚ Sofia pero mas lumalalim yung tawag ng diyos sakin. I can't ignore it anymore‚" he admitted.
I wiped my tears‚ but they kept falling. "So‚ this is it? After everything we've been through‚ this is how we end?"
Cedrick looked at me‚ his eyes full of sadness. "I didn't want it to end this way. But... I can't ask you to wait for something that might not happen. I can't ask you to stay when I'm not sure if I can."
I shook my head, trying to process everything. "I thought we had more time. Akala ko tayo na hanggang dulo." I whispered.
"I thought so too‚" he replied softly. "But I can't fight this‚ I wish I could‚ but I can't."
I looked at him‚ the man I loved for three years‚ the man I thought I'd spend the rest of my life with. And now here I am, ending something so beautiful‚ something that meant everything to me.
"Ang sakit pero anong laban ko sa Diyos, Cedrick? If this is what he's calling you to do‚ sino ba naman ako para pigilan ka?"
Cedrick stepped closer‚ reaching for my hand pero umiwas ako. Hindi ko kayang maramdaman pa ang kamay niya. It would only make it harder.
"Sofia‚ I'm sorry‚" he whispered.
"Huwag ka nang mag-sorry. It's not your fault‚" I said‚ trying to hold myself. "I love you. I really do. Pero hindi ko kayang makipag-agawan sa Diyos. If this is your dream‚ I won't stand in the way."
"I love you too, Sofia. But I have to do this" Sambit nito maya tumango ako at sinabing. "I'll let you go."
With those words‚ para akong nawalan ng hininga. "Mahal kita " he said again‚ his voice breaking.
I nodded, biting my lip to stop the sobs from escaping. I turned and walked away‚ bawat hakbang ko ay bumibigat and when I was far enough‚ I let it all out. I cried and cried‚ feeling the pain of losing the person I loved more than anything.
This wasn't how it was supposed to end. But maybe‚ this was how it needed to end. Because no matter how much I loved him‚ I couldn't compete with the calling of God. And maybe in letting him go‚ I was showing him just how much I truly loved him.
