GASLIGHTER // BBANGSAZ

28| Girlfriends 🚭❗

Hanni's days had long since blurred together into a haze of exhaustion and quiet suffering. Her shifts at the small diner in the town were endless, filled with back-to-back customers, the clattering of dishes, and the distant hum of conversation she had long since stopped paying attention to. Her body moved on autopilot—clearing tables, taking orders, forcing a weak smile whenever necessary. The weight of fatigue pressed down on her constantly, sinking deep into her bones. Each day was the same, a monotonous grind that drained whatever was left of her.

And then there was Minji.

Minji, who barely seemed to exist in the daylight. Minji, who left before the sun rose and came back long after it had set, pockets full of money but empty of explanations. Minji, who always seemed so put together, so confident, while Hanni felt herself falling apart.

They rarely spoke anymore, except when Minji needed something from her—dinner, favors, or some vague reassurance that she was still in control of everything. The air between them was thick with unspoken tension, a ticking time bomb waiting to explode. And yet, despite all of it, Hanni remained. She couldn’t leave. She wasn’t even sure she had the strength to.

Food had become a distant thought, something she grabbed in passing if she remembered to eat at all. Often, she'd skip meals entirely, too tired or too anxious to keep anything down. Her clothes had grown loose, her reflection in the mirror a haunting reminder of how much she had changed. The vibrant, hopeful girl she once was had been replaced by someone hollow, someone who had forgotten what it felt like to truly live.

But even more painful than the physical exhaustion was the psychological toll Minji had taken on her. Minji’s words lingered in her mind constantly, replaying over and over until they felt like her own thoughts.

*"You’re nothing without me. You’d still be lost if I wasn’t here to take care of you. You’re weak. You need me."*

Hanni had begun to believe it. Every time she doubted Minji or tried to stand up for herself, those words would echo in her mind, drowning out her own sense of reason. She clung to Minji because the idea of being without her—being alone—was even more terrifying than the constant strain of their relationship.

She hated the way her thoughts twisted around Minji like a lifeline. Every ounce of energy she had left was spent on convincing herself that she was better off with her than without her. When she questioned Minji’s actions, she’d quickly find herself rationalizing them, forcing herself to believe that Minji was doing it all for their survival. But deep down, Hanni knew something was wrong. It was a feeling that gnawed at her, eating away at whatever self-worth she had left. But she buried it. She had no choice. Minji was all she had now.

One night, after another brutal shift at the diner, Hanni returned to the tiny apartment she shared with Minji. It was late, and she was beyond tired, her body aching from the long hours on her feet. The air inside the apartment was stale and heavy, just like her mood. Minji was already home, sitting on the couch, her legs crossed casually as she scrolled through her phone.

Hanni glanced at her, feeling a familiar knot tighten in her stomach. She wanted to ask Minji where she had been, where the money was coming from, but she was too afraid of the answer. Or maybe she was too tired to care anymore.

"Hey," Minji said, not looking up from her phone. Her voice was unnervingly casual, as though nothing was out of the ordinary.

"Hey," Hanni muttered, kicking off her shoes and collapsing onto the edge of the couch, her exhaustion too heavy to ignore.

Minji glanced over at her, her eyes narrowing slightly. "You look like hell," she said bluntly.

Hanni let out a weak, bitter laugh. "Yeah, well... it's been a long day."

"Every day seems long with you lately," Minji said with a hint of annoyance. "You’re always so tired. It’s like you’ve given up or something."

Hanni flinched at the words, feeling them dig deep into her already fragile self-esteem. Minji was right—she had given up, or at least it felt that way. But wasn’t that Minji's fault? She wanted to say something, to push back, but the fight had drained out of her long ago.

Minji watched her for a moment, her expression unreadable. Then, she set her phone aside and leaned forward slightly, her tone softening. "Hanni, I’ve been thinking," she said, her voice unusually gentle.

Hanni blinked, surprised by the shift in Minji’s demeanor. "About what?"

"About us," Minji replied. "I think it’s time we make things official."

Hanni’s heart skipped a beat, confusion clouding her exhausted mind. "What do you mean?"

Minji smiled, the kind of smile that had once made Hanni feel safe but now only made her feel small. "I mean, we should be together. Officially. You and me. Girlfriends."

Hanni stared at her, shock washing over her in waves. She hadn’t expected this. After everything, after all the manipulation and the control, Minji wanted them to be together? For real?

Part of her felt a flicker of something—relief, maybe, or even hope. But another part of her, the part that still had some sense of self-preservation, recoiled in fear.

"I don’t know..." Hanni whispered, her voice barely audible.

Minji’s smile faltered, her eyes narrowing. "You don’t know? After everything I’ve done for you, you don’t know? Hanni, you wouldn’t even be here if it weren’t for me. I’ve kept us alive, I’ve kept us together. And now you’re hesitating?"

Hanni’s throat tightened, guilt and shame wrapping around her like a suffocating blanket. Minji’s words were like poison, seeping into her thoughts, making her question everything. *Maybe she’s right. Maybe I owe her. Maybe this is what I deserve.*

"I’m just... I’m tired, Minji. I don’t know if I can—"

Minji cut her off, her voice growing sharper. "Tired? You’re tired because you don’t know how to handle anything. You’ve been dragging yourself through life like a martyr, acting like you’re doing everything alone. But you’re not. I’ve been here the whole time, and I’m the only reason you haven’t completely fallen apart."

Tears welled up in Hanni’s eyes, her vision blurring as Minji’s words hit their mark. She had no energy left to argue, no strength to fight back. All she had was the overwhelming sense of defeat that had settled deep in her chest.

"Maybe you’re right," Hanni whispered, her voice breaking.

Minji’s expression softened instantly, her hand reaching out to gently cup Hanni’s cheek. "I am right, Hanni. You need me. And I need you. We’re stronger together, but only if you stop resisting. You just have to trust me."

Hanni’s heart ached, torn between the desire to run and the desperate need for comfort. Minji was all she had. She had pushed everyone else away, given up on her dreams, and lost herself in the process. The thought of being without Minji—being alone—was terrifying. She couldn’t do it. She wasn’t strong enough.

Slowly, hesitantly, Hanni nodded. "Okay," she whispered. "I’ll be your girlfriend."

Minji’s smile returned, soft and sweet, as she leaned in and pressed a kiss to Hanni’s forehead. "Good girl," she murmured. "You’ll see, Hanni. This is what’s best for us."

Hanni closed her eyes, letting herself be pulled into Minji’s embrace. But even as she sank into the warmth of Minji’s arms, a small voice in the back of her mind whispered that something was terribly, terribly wrong.

_

Don't judge a book, cover it.

Omg, I love Regina.

Anygays- I can't think straight (y'all know why) ... The kids I'm tutoring are pure devils.

I don't know what is going on with newjeans. Someone, anyone, comment abt it in the comment section or my mb!

I'm phoneless. 😭