GASLIGHTER // BBANGSAZ

30|New lives 🚭❗

2 years later.

Hanni slowly stirred awake, the soft light of dawn creeping through the thin curtains of their bedroom. She lay still for a moment, her body heavy with exhaustion that never seemed to leave anymore. It was a familiar feeling now—always tired, always on the verge of burnout. Her days blurred into one another, the hours slipping through her fingers like sand. She felt worn out, emotionally and physically, but there was a strange comfort in the routine that had formed around her life with Minji.

She turned her head slightly, and there was Minji, smiling softly at her, already awake. Minji’s gaze was warm, but there was that familiar intensity behind it—the same intensity that had both comforted and frightened Hanni over the years. Minji reached out and tucked a strand of Hanni’s hair behind her ear, her touch gentle but possessive.

"Good morning, love," Minji whispered, her voice soft. “I’ve been thinking about you all morning.”

Hanni’s heart fluttered out of habit, even though the warmth of those words didn’t reach her the way they used to. Minji had a way of making everything sound like it was drenched in love and care, a way of speaking that had always drawn Hanni in. But lately, it felt more like a weight than a comfort. Yet, despite everything, despite the manipulation and the control, Hanni had no energy left to resist.

Minji smiled wider and pulled Hanni close, her breath soft against Hanni’s cheek. “You don’t need to worry about anything today. I have good news. You don’t need to work at the diner anymore.”

Hanni blinked, her mind trying to process what she had just heard. “What do you mean?” she asked, her voice thick with confusion.

Minji’s eyes sparkled with excitement. “I got us a job. A high-paying one. In the city. We’re leaving tomorrow.”

The words hung in the air, and for a moment, Hanni felt a wave of relief wash over her. No more diner. No more exhausting shifts where she barely made enough to get by. It was almost too good to be true. But that feeling of relief was quickly followed by a creeping sense of unease. The city? A high-paying job? None of this had been mentioned before. How had Minji managed to set this up without Hanni knowing?

“What kind of job?” Hanni asked hesitantly, her voice betraying the weariness she felt deep down.

Minji's smile didn’t falter. “Don’t worry about that, Hanni. I’ve taken care of everything. You just need to trust me. This is going to change everything for us.”

Hanni stared at her, the doubts lingering at the back of her mind. But as always, Minji’s words had a way of soothing those doubts, pushing them away before they could take root. She was too tired to argue, too worn down by the years of questioning and second-guessing. Minji always had a way of making her feel like worrying was unnecessary, like all she needed to do was follow along and everything would be fine. And so far, it had been, hadn’t it? They were still together, still surviving.

Minji’s hand found Hanni’s, squeezing it gently. “I love you, Hanni. I’m doing this for us. You don’t have to carry the weight anymore.”

Hanni nodded slowly, the fight already drained from her before it could even begin. Minji always knew how to make her feel like she was cared for, like all her efforts and struggles were recognized. Even if, deep down, Hanni knew that Minji’s version of love came with strings attached, those strings had become so tightly woven into her life that she couldn’t untangle them anymore.

“I trust you,” Hanni whispered, more to herself than to Minji.

Minji’s smile widened, and she kissed Hanni on the forehead, her touch soft and reassuring. “Good girl,” she murmured. “We’re going to be so happy in the city. You’ll see. No more worrying, no more working yourself to the bone. I’ve got everything under control.”

---

The next day, they packed up their small apartment, the only home they had known together for the past two years. Hanni moved through the motions mechanically, folding clothes, packing dishes, and gathering the few belongings they had accumulated. Her mind was a haze of conflicting emotions—part relief, part fear, part something she couldn’t quite name. It was like she was floating, detached from herself, letting Minji guide the way.

Minji, as always, was full of energy and excitement. She handled most of the heavy lifting, making decisions about what to bring and what to leave behind. Hanni simply followed her lead, too tired to care about the details. In the back of her mind, she knew that this was just another one of those moments where Minji’s control over her life was absolute, but she was too drained to resist. She didn’t have the strength anymore.

By the time they were driving out of the countryside and into the bustling streets of the city, Hanni felt like she was watching everything from behind a veil. The city skyline stretched out before them, a looming reminder of the new life they were about to step into. It was overwhelming—the noise, the lights, the people. Hanni hadn’t realized just how small and quiet their lives had been in the countryside until now.

Minji was the opposite. She seemed completely at ease, her hands steady on the wheel as she drove with purpose. There was a spark in her eyes that Hanni hadn’t seen in a long time, a hunger for something bigger than the life they had left behind.

“We’re going to have everything we ever wanted,” Minji said, her voice full of conviction. “This job is going to set us up for life. We’ll be able to do whatever we want, go wherever we want.”

Hanni nodded absently, staring out the window as the city lights blurred past them. She wanted to feel that same excitement, that same sense of hope, but all she felt was tired. Tired of fighting, tired of questioning, tired of trying to keep up with Minji’s plans. It was easier to just let go, to let Minji take the lead.

They found an apartment quickly—a sleek, modern place in a tall building that overlooked the city. It was far nicer than anything Hanni had ever imagined living in. Minji seemed thrilled with the space, practically glowing as they unpacked their belongings.

Hanni, on the other hand, felt numb. She moved through the motions, putting things away, setting up the apartment, but there was a part of her that felt like she was just going through the motions. Like she wasn’t really there.

---

That night, as they lay in their new bed, Minji wrapped her arms around Hanni, pulling her close. Hanni’s body instinctively relaxed into the embrace, the warmth of Minji’s presence both familiar and suffocating.

“We made it,” Minji whispered softly. “This is the beginning of everything, Hanni. You don’t need to worry about anything anymore. I’ve got you.”

Hanni closed her eyes, feeling the weight of those words settle over her like a blanket. Minji had her. Minji had always had her. And maybe, after everything, that was all Hanni had left.

She had given up fighting, given up questioning. There was no energy left for resistance. She was too worn out, too dependent on Minji’s affection and promises. The thought of leaving, of doing anything without Minji, seemed impossible now.

Minji was all she had, and even though she knew there were strings attached to that love, Hanni couldn’t bring herself to care anymore. She had nothing left to fight with.

“I love you,” Hanni whispered, the words coming out automatically, like a reflex.

Minji smiled against her skin. “I love you too, baby. Forever.”

And with that, Hanni let herself sink into the comfort of Minji’s arms, pushing away the doubts and the fears, letting herself believe—just for a moment—that maybe this was enough. Maybe this was what love was supposed to feel like.