Somehow, I've ended up here—a Swiftie, knee-deep in Gaylor Swift and Kaylor theories. I'm not sure how it happened, but now I'm watching fan edits and scrolling through conspiracy threads.
So naturally, I had to write about it. Not my other stories, no, but this. Maybe once this is out of my system, I'll finally relax and get back to the real writing... or so I tell myself.
I do have the same scene written from Taylor's POV if anyone is interested.
Enjoy!
xx, R.
***
Karlie can't breathe. The air feels thick, heavy, suffocating her as she sits surrounded by people—people who are laughing, talking, celebrating love like it's the most natural, solid thing in the world. Like it's something that never breaks, never bends under the weight of expectations, secrets, and lies. Doesn't anyone know how fragile it all is? she thinks, her heart pounding so hard she can feel it in her throat. How it can shatter in a second? One moment you're someone's world, and the next? You're nothing but a ghost, haunting their past, their songs, their memories.
The maroon dress sticks to her skin like betrayal, every thread of fabric a reminder of everything she's lost, everything she'll never get back. Why did I wear this? She wonders, though deep down she knows why. Maroon, like the song Taylor wrote, the one that tore her apart the first time she heard it. She can still remember the moment, sitting in her car, alone in the dark, when the first notes played. Each lyrics felt like a knife, each verse stitching pain into her skin, into her heart. And yet, she listened to it over and over, letting the words sink into her bones, letting the heartbreak wrap around her like a blanket she couldn't throw off. The world thought it was fiction, just another song in a sea of breakups and broken promises. But she knew better.
She glances down at her hands, fingers gripping the edge of the chair like it's the only thing anchoring her to reality. Her knuckles are white, trembling. What if? It's the question that's haunted her for five years, echoing in every quiet moment, in every dream, in every breath. What if she had fought harder? What if she had gone to Taylor, stood at her door and refused to leave until Taylor heard her side, until she was allowed to explain? What if she had done something, anything, other than let Taylor walk away, let her believe the lies? What if Taylor had listened? What if she hadn't slammed the door, hadn't believed the worst so easily? What if, what if, what if—it's like a drumbeat in her head, one she can never turn off.
She swallows hard, her throat tight, like the tears are lodged there, threatening to spill over, but she won't let them. Not here. Not now. Not when Taylor is sitting somewhere behind her, close enough to feel her gaze but so impossibly far away she might as well be on another planet. Does Taylor feel it too? Karlie wonders. This unbearable pull between them, this silent scream that has been lodged in her chest for years, echoing in every beat of her heart? It feels like a black hole, sucking her in, pulling her under. She used to think they were invincible together, that nothing could break them. But they were so fragile, weren't they? Like glass, beautiful and delicate, but the moment it cracked, it shattered into a million pieces that neither of them could pick up.
I was supposed to be yours, she thinks, the words sharp and bitter on her tongue. You were supposed to be mine.
The ceremony is happening, vows are being exchanged, but it all feels distant, like it's happening to someone else. The words don't reach her, they don't mean anything. How can they? How can anyone believe in vows when forever doesn't exist? When love—real love—gets torn apart by lies and silence and things that are never spoken? Karlie feels like she's spinning, her mind a tangled mess of thoughts, memories, what-ifs. She's trapped in the past, stuck in that moment five years ago when Taylor looked at her with eyes full of hurt, full of anger, and slammed the door. It's like a movie on repeat, one she's watched a thousand times but still doesn't understand. Why didn't you let me explain? The question claws at her, tearing her apart from the inside. Why didn't you trust me? It's a wound that never heals, a question that will never be answered.
YOU ARE READING
The lips I used to call home (Kaylor)
FanfictionAnd maybe... maybe they were never meant to be anything more than a beautiful, painful song. One that never stops playing, but never finds its way back to the beginning. A song that lingers, unresolved, unfinished, forever playing in the background...
