bumblebee's journey

35

highfires pov:

I watched as bee and cascade left to go back to base. "why...." rainshot said tilting her helm to the sky. "why does Megatron have to ruin everything this war its taken so much from so many bots" she said grabbing onto my servor. I pulled her into a hug rubbing the top of her helm. "I don't know why he keeps drawing on this war but I know we cant just abandon Cybertron" I said looking down to her as she looked up with blue-purple optics. "I always get lost in your gaze" I said and felt my feelings go hazy but only for a moment before I turned to ratchet. "ratchet" I said getting his attention. rainshot pulled away to my side still holding onto my servor. "yes highfire" he said turning to us. his optics were tired and dull with the lack of recharge. "is there any way bee could get his voice box back like a transplant" I said hoping for an answer. "I'm sorry voice boxes aren't like t-cogs they cant just be transplanted there biome mechanism is specifically linked to the CNA of the original bot and bumblebees was....... damaged beyond repair" he said looking away sadly. 

I nodded and turned back to rainshot she was still looking at ratchet. "ratchet you need recharge you should go get some" he grunted a no and continued to work. I knew there was no arguing with him right now. "lets go back to camp and help bee" I suggested. she nodded and we started off out of the tent. we walked out into the the sun and heat of the day. but it seemed lifeless and cold now. the land it was..... baren a lifeless husk if you will. some of the train tracks still run along the ground but the actual trains had long since stopped running. Our planet has been ravaged by this war and to think some of the bots like bee have lived there entire life in it. I wasn't very old when it started but I knew what it was like to wave a friendly servor to the bot across the street. Some of the bots I hung out with were cons my teachers my friends family all cons and to think I ever followed that same path made me gag. Why had it come to this.

Bumblebees pov:

We arrived back at camp where I was greeted with many bots. I looked up at cascade in confusion he looked back down from where he was helping me walk. "There here for you they know what you did" he said calmly. I got embarrassed and looked on at the crowd who was giving me smiles. I wanted to thank them but instead I dipped my helm to them. Hopefully they know I can't talk back. The crowd began to disperse back to what they were doing before as me and cascade made our way to the med tent. We slipped inside and I sat down on the med berth. "I guess we just wait for ratchet now" he said sitting down on one of the spare crates we used for seats. "Oh wait I need to get you some energon" he said and got up to get it. I was hoping he would have forgotten about that. He left the tent leaving me alone to think. I looked down at me servors and then make my way up my arm.

It had scratches and dents covering it. I used my other servor to remove that peace of armor. I set it down beside me and observed my arm again. Underneath was also covered in the same dents and scratches. Some of my armor was already missing and it stung from where they were torn off. My mask was gone and I knew I wouldn't get it back. Why couldn't I just have a normal life. I said to myself than reattach the armor to my arm. Cascade came in holding a cube of energon. It made my stomach twist to think of eating it. He had a concerned look on his face and came down and sat beside me. "Come on bee I know you don't want to but if you don't your not going to get any better" he urged placing the cube in my servors. I knew I would just eat it but something inside me just couldn't stomach it. I just continued on looking at it not able to start. 'come on mech up bumblebee just eat it'

I slowly raise it and took a bite. It tastes sour and gross but I forced it down and took another bite. It was the same the sour feeling that I was going to puke it all up. I gagged and swallowed it hard. I felt the reassuring servor of Cascade on back rubbing my door wings. I took a few more awful bites and the fowl taste in my mouth. then I felt it all coming back up. my door wings dropped and my optics went wide. I placed the cube beside me and leaned over grasping the berth. I tried to keep it down by taking a minute. cascade took his servor off my back and stepped back. "bumblebee" he said in a questioning tone. 'nope its coming up' I leaped up off the berth and ran from one side of the tent to the other where the bathroom was located. 

I leaned over the toilet and it all came back up. I puked and dropped to my knees. 'oh primus' I finished and just kinda sat there for a minute. I stood up shaking barely able to stand with my wounds. "hey bee just knock if you need help" I heard cascade from around the corner. I shut the door my vision hazy. I leaned on the makeshift sink and washed my face. I started feeling strong after a few minutes. I looked up to the mirror and stared at my reflection.  it was the first time i had seen myself since the chase. big dull blue optics stared back almost cold and lifeless, tired and deprived of recharge. i looked at my frame it was covered in wounds the worst patched by ratchet. they would heal into ugly scars forever a reminder of what megatron did. i held out my servors they were shaking and refused to stay still. i looked back up at my reflection. 

 i tilted my helm up to see my neck. there where long deep gashes in it from when megatron ripped out my voice box. i raised a servor and outstretched my digits and gently ran them over it. i pulled back when it became painful. i let my helm fall again to see my face. i looked at my mouth gashes ran across it and i had torn lips from where megatron clawed at them. i pulled my arm to cover it leaving just my optics above it. they looked almost happy by themselves not depressed or sad just alive. i let my arm fall again reviling my entier face and all the horror. i was shocked at my appearance.  'your hiddios' no.... I wasn't going to listen to them this time. 'please you cant save anyone' no that's not true I saved highfire and rainshot. I shook my helm pushing them out. I looked at my reflection for one last time. maybe I could pretend to be happy than no one else would get hurt. I walked out of the bathroom and cascade was waiting for me.

"hey bee are you alright" he asked and I nodded he still had a concerned look on his face. "you sure" he asked again and again I just nodded. I noticed that he had moved the energon cube away. "how about you just get some recharge" he said leading me over to the berth. I sit back down I'm not going to get very much but at least it will be something. he walked out of the small sub room and waved to me as he left. I layed back staring at the top of the tent as it flapped in the wind. 'i'm alive and Cybertron is safe' I let my optics go into recharge mode as I try and get some. after a while the sweet relief of sleep comes and I drifted off. 'maybe I can be happy'