Hangrid: The Beginning

Hello, New World

Hannah's Point of View

When Ingrid told me her last step down her road to self-discovery I knew there was only one thing I could do. Only one thing I wanted to do. I just kissed her like I have been wanting to do for so long. I was just so unbelievably happy and proud of her for wanting to take the next step to being happy. I wasn't sure how she would respond. I just did what felt right. 

Lucky for me she responded the way I hoped. "Wow I've wanted to do that for so long" I say truly happy my instincts were right. "Yeah me too. I'm kind of glad you made the first move. I've been so afraid to tell you how I feel since this is all still so new to me" Ingrid says, surprising me. I had obviously hoped she felt the same way but knowing she actually wanted this to happen just makes me happy. 

We continue to go to the car after this big revelation. We head to my house to talk and hang out some more since we clearly have A LOT to talk about now. The car ride was unbearably awkward with barely any small talk. When we get to my place I can't stay silent any longer so I say "So, what's next?". She gets a look of serious contemplation on her face and says "I need to be honest with them. Not just for them but for me. I can't keep hiding this anymore". 

Not exactly what I wanted to talk about first but I knew how important this was for her so I just go along. So I just say, " Ingrid you know I have been so proud of how you have handled this whole process. I just want to make sure you are really ready to tell everyone this. Coming out online is a huge step that will honestly change everything, whether it be good or bad. I just want to make sure that you will be able to handle the aftermath of all of this". 

Ingrid just looked at me and said, " You always told me being out and happy was worth all the struggle that comes with coming out. With every person I have told I kept holding onto that belief. I've always been ready to do this I just had trouble finding the courage till now to want to do this". Before I can reply Ingrid cuts me off and continues to say, "I'm not saying I'm not scared out of my mind. I can't even begin to think how I will even do this. But I know its the right thing to do because I deserve to be honest with them". 

I just go up to her and hug her for her bravery and say, "Well good thing you have me, I will do anything i can to help you through this, as I've always been". She just smiles and says "I so don't deserve you". "Do you have me?" I say figuring now is as good a time as any to bring up the kiss. "What I mean is what are we doing here. are we dating?". 

I could tell from the look on her face she is giving this much thought. I am so nervous because ever since the kiss I have been stressing so much on what would happen with us now. Ingrid just takes a deep breathe and says "I definitely cannot say I did not enjoy the kiss before and that I haven't secretly wanted it to happen for awhile now. I also can't say that I don't want to date you. But I think right now I should focus on how I'm going to come out to everyone. I just think we should take things slow for now since I'm still so new to this". 

Naturally I'm slightly disappointed. But I totally get where she's coming from so I learn to be patient. Over the next month I give her tips on what she should focus on in her coming out video. Just seeing her mentally prepare to make this video brings back memories of what coming out was like for me. I just am so proud and happy to be with someone who is brave enough to do this. 

The day she made her video I was there crying along with her because over the past few months I've seen her struggle so much with this. I could tell how much she needed to do this. After she finished filming I could see this huge weight had been lifted off her. She can finally be free to be who she truly is. I've said this many times before but after that video was made I was so unbelievably proud of her. I knew the struggle she went through and hopefully when she finally uploads she will see just how much everyone cares about her and want's her to live her best life.