The Fight of Ambivalence ~ Harry Styles

6 - Unpredictable

Junior year is notorious for being the hardest, most grueling, and taxing year of a student's career. Sheila's been really nervous about it ever since she heard the horror stories of students older than her.

She knows how difficult it's supposed to be, but now she's over a month into it and she doesn't feel like it's been that bad.

She was smart about it though, with the thoughts of this year looming over her she met with a guidance counselor in her freshman year and worked it out so this year would hopefully feel manageable. With the additional classes she took the past two years and giving up her winter break to do a few during winter session she technically could even graduate a semester early.

This semester she's also taking an online course, called Classroom Culture which is definitely her favorite by far. She loves the creative aspect of it and how the focus is on encouraging individuality and creating an environment where kids can do more than learn.

The early years are so important in shaping future leaders, the people who will become our doctors, lawyers, musicians, and designers. She wants to be the person who supports them and encourages them to follow their dreams.

Despite the fact that she does feel it's pretty well balanced, she does still have a fairly heavy workload because there were some upper level classes that would only be available during her junior year. On top of that, she's working to pay for part of her tuition. She has a mix of financial aid and an academic scholarship, but the rest she either needs to take out loans for or pay for herself.

Her options for getting a part time job were definitely limited. She went on a few interviews, but nothing worked out due to the fact she barely had any availability or experience. By some stroke of luck one day on her way to the library to meet up with Ava she saw a help wanted sign.

She was able to work it out with the librarians so she only works one shift a week, from 12 pm to 9 pm mostly restocking book returns. She thought it was going to feel like an incredibly long shift, but once she started she was pleasantly surprised to find out that it wasn't as bad as she thought it would be.

Now she actually looks forward to that time because she knows she'll have to slow down and take a break from other things in life. It gives her a dedicated time to think if there are things on her mind or just the opposite, sometimes it's so monotonous her mind just slips away.

She doesn't have to interact with too many people and she's allowed to use her headphones so it's easy for her to space out. As long as she gets the work done and doesn't disrupt students who are there to study she basically has free reign.

It's not a job where she feels like she's micromanaged. The two librarians, Margaret and Mabel are very lax and understanding, they seem to really get that studying and learning is really her true priority so if something with school comes up they never give her a hard time.

They only seem to give a hard time to each other, two of them being friends for over 40 years now. They might be old, but they mess with each other like they're still teenagers. Sheila's constantly entertained by their bickering and stories from their glory days. Whenever she has a bit of downtime they always try to engage her in conversation so she doesn't feel left out.

"Hi dear. How are your classes going dear?" Margaret asks as Sheila arrives for her shift one Tuesday afternoon.

"Pretty well I think. I'm getting some extra help in one of the courses that was trickier than I thought it would be, but good other than that," she explains.

"Which class? Maybe I could help," Mabel offers.

"How could you help her? You still can't even color inside the lines!" Margret says, cracking herself up.