9-18-22

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When the dead silent of the night scares you
When your mind makes things out of nothing in the dead of night
When a million voices are yelling at you all at once
When you are alone with your thoughts
When you get a random energy burst knowing it's because you feel you need it in case someone attacks or even walks around
When you have to put a knife under your pillow in case you need to protect your family
When you have to put a knife under your pillow in case those who are supposedly your family attack you
When you have to read their texts because you can't breathe but no one is awake
When you have to write poems at midnight to stay sane
When you trace all your scars
When you criticize every part of your body
When you figure out you love them
When you're horrified
Not of something happening to you
Of yourself or having to live with horrible memories after
When you feel as if you have to cut off your feelings
When survival isn't about you but about the people around you
When survival of the fittest means you can't handle your own thoughts
When you realize you can't be helped because you don't know how to help yourself
When you realize it's not just now you're alone but always.

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⏰ Last updated: Sep 21 ⏰

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