Cassian
We’ve been through a lot. I witnessed how he broke down because of his parents. I saw him crying because of his parents.
We got to the point where he didn't want to see me anymore. He left me. He left me without any explanation.
Seeing him with another man broke me into pieces.
I wanted to tell him that I’m hurting. I wanted to tell him to choose me. I wanted to tell him that I needed him too. I wanted to tell him that I needed to be comforted too.
after everything that happened he still came back to me. He still chose to be with me. His parents’ accepted us. We still chose to be with each other after all the struggles.
We still came back with each others’ arms. We still chose to love each other after all.
Having him again is enough. Being with him feels so surreal. Being with him feels so good.
“Bakit ngiting-ngiti ka riyan?” I looked at him‚ he raised his eyebrows at me.
I pulled his waist closer to me. I kissed him on his cheek.
“You smell so good.” I said while smiling. He moved away from me a little and frowned at me.
“Para kang gago‚ ngiting-ngiti ka. Siguro iniisip mo na naman kung anong posisyon ang gagawin natin mamaya?” I was surprised by what he said.
“What are you talking about‚ baby?” Natatawang tanong ko‚ tinignan niya ako ng masama.
“Painosenta ka na naman‚ alam ko na ang ganiyang ngiti mo. Hindi ka makakaisa sakin‚ pagod ako.” I couldn’t stop myself from laughing because of what he was saying.
“So‚ you’re thinking that we will do something later?” Natatawang tanong ko.
“Oh bakit? Huwag mo sabihin na hindi mo iniisip yun?” Masungit na tanong niya habang nakataas ang kilay. Napailing ako habang natatawa.
I stared at him while smiling. I can’t help myself from smiling. He looks so cute.
“Sex isn’t my priority‚ baby.” I said while smiling. Hinawakan ko ang kamay niya‚ I intertwined our hands.
“Without you‚ time seems to drag on.
Without you‚ my life is quiet too.
Without you‚ every day feels bland. Without you‚ my life aren’t colorful. Without you‚ my life is colorless. Without you‚ my life is nothing.” I said while looking straight into his eyes. Pumungay ang mga mata niya.
“I don’t want to learn how to live my life without you. It’s so hard to live without you; it feels like my life is bland. Living this life without you is hard. I can’t live without you because you’ve become my reason to smile‚ to love‚ my reason to live. You’re the beat of my heart‚ the air that I breathe‚ the light in my life.” My voice cracked‚ I feel like crying. I sighed heavily to stop myself from crying. I don’t want to cry in front of him. I force myself to smile.
Tumingala ako para mapigilan ang badyang pagtulo ng luha. We were so happy earlier‚ why the fuck I’m like this?
Tumingin ako ulit sa kaniya‚ nandoon ang pagkalito sa mga mata niya.
“Without you‚ my life is like a puzzle missing its pieces. I can’t live without you completing me. Every moment without you feels like an eternity. My heart skips a beat when you’re not around. Life without you is like a body without a soul; I can’t live without my soulmate. You’re not just my love; you’re my lifeline. I don’t want to imagine my life without you because you’ve become my life.” the tears I was holding back started pouring out. My voice cracked even more.
He couldn't stop his own tears. We shed tears. We both crying.
Malalim siyang huminga at tumingala‚ bumalik ang tingin niya sakin nang hindi niya pa rin mapigilan ang sariling luha na tumulo.
“Ever since you walked into my life‚ you’ve made my heart dance in an endless waltz of joy. From the moment you entered my world‚ every sunrise holds a greater promise. My life became a beautiful melody from the day you entered my world. Everyday feels like an enchanting melody ever since you stepped into my life. Your entry into my life turned it into a tapestry of love and happiness.” I said while continuing to cry. I closed my eyes when he caressed my face and wiped the tears that were falling.
“You’re the sun‚ and I’m your sunflower. I’m your sunflower for a brighter tomorrow.” I said before kissing the back of his palm. He let go of our hands and put both of his hands on his face‚ covering his face that is full of tears.
“Nag gagaguhan lang tayo kanina tapos bigla kang gaganiyan na tarantado ka.” Umiiyak na sambit niya habang nakatakip pa rin ang palad sa mukha niya. I can’t help but chuckle because of what I’ve heard. Kahit sa ganitong sitwayon hindi talaga nawawala ang pagiging siraulo niya.
“I love you‚ baby. Thank you for coming into my life.” Nakangiting sambit ko‚ hinawakan ang kamay niya at ngumiti.
“How much you love me?” Natatawang tanong niya‚ napangiwi ako.
“My love for you is past the mind‚ beyond my heart‚ and into my soul.” Nakangiting sambit ko‚ matunog siyang napangiti at umiling. Halatang kinikilig.
“You are crazy‚ Santiago.” Natatawang sambit niya‚ hinampas pa ako sa braso.
“Crazy in love with you? Yes‚ I am.” Nakangising sambit ko.
He sighed heavily and face me.
Ngumiti siya na abot sa mata‚ hinawakan niya ang mga kamay ko at tumingin doon.
“You know that I love you more‚ right?” Sambit niya at tumingin sakin. I smiled and nodded.
“My love for you has no depth‚ its boundaries are ever-expanding.” Nakangiting sambit niya‚ I couldn’t help myself from smiling.
“And thank you for fixing a heart you didn’t break‚ and for taking care of it in a way that no one else can. Thank you for loving me; for making me feel loved. I am so in love with you‚ too.” After he said that he kissed me on the lips‚ it didn't take long either.
“I love you more.” Sambit ko‚ I moved closer to him and kissed him on the forehead.
“At dahil diyan matutulog na tayo.” Napangiwi ako dahil sa narinig‚ nilambing na nga ayaw pa rin bumigay.
“Hindi mo ako madadala sa paganiyan-ganiyan mo‚ Santiago. Mahal kita pero inaantok na ako.” Natatawang usal niya‚ mas lalo akong napangiwi.
“Bawi ka na lang next month.” Gulat akong napatingin sa kaniya‚ nakangisi na siya ngayon habang nakahiga sa kama ng kwarto ko.
“Next month?” Gulat ang boses ko‚ he just laughed at me!
“Oo. Kaya mo naman yun‚ diba? Mabilis lang naman ang panahon e.” Halata ang pang-aasar sa boses niya‚ dismayado akong napailing.
“No way‚ baby. That’s too long. Why are you so cruel?” Binahiran ko ng pagtatampo ang boses ko pero tinawanan niya lang talaga ako.
“Why are you doing this to me? Did I do something wrong? Why are you so bad? Why are you like that? Why?” Mas lalo lang siyang natawa.
“Ang OA ha! Isang buwan ka lang naman na matitigang‚ kung maka why ka naman diyan!” Napasimangot ako‚ hindi talaga siya nakakatuwa.
“Oh sige gawin na nating dalawang buwan‚ kapag inabot pa tayo ng alas dyes ng gabi gagawin ko pa yan tatlong buwan.” Nang marinig ko iyon ay agad akong sumampa sa kama‚ basta na lang nagkumot at yumakap sa kaniya.
I closed my eyes and pretended to be asleep. Narinig ko pa ang mahinang niyang pagtawa bago ako hinalikan sa ulo.
my pretense of being asleep turned out to be true dahil ilang minuto lang ay tuluyan na akong nilamon ng antok.
