A Brother Lost, A Love Gained

Untitled Part 1

Master of Puppets Era- 1986

Dallis lay asleep in bed in her San Francisco home. She was surprised that she'd been able to get any sleep that night. James had long since embarked on Metallica's Master of Puppets Tour a few months back and damnit she missed him when he was gone. Especially now when he was in a whole other country. In the meantime, she lay in a restless sleep until James' return in just a few short weeks. She longed to be in his embrace, curling her fingers around his long golden locks until they were both in a deep sleep. Who knew that a phone call with the worst news she could possibly imagine would bring her man home sooner?

It was in the early morning hours of September 27 when Dallis was awoken by her 6 year old brother, Kalum.

"Sissy! Sissy you gotta get up! James is on the phone for you!" Kalum whispered harshly, shaking her shoulders.

Dallis sat up groggily, wiping the sleep from her eyes. "Wha-What?"

"James is on the phone. He wants to talk to you. It sounds bad!" Kalum answered.

'It's 3 in the fuckin' morining! Why the hell is he callin' so late? What the hell is goin on?" she thought as she glanced over at the alarm clock on her night stand.

Still half asleep, she raced to her feet and half ran down the hall to the kitchen.. And the phone. There stood her mom, eyes red and bleary with the phone resting on her shoulder.

"Momma what's wrong?" She asked in concern.

"Here, talk to James," her mother said simply, holding out the receiver.

Switching places with her mom, she nervously held the receiver to her ear. Unaware that a lump had risen in her throat until she tried to speak, Dallis swallowed hard. Finding her voice after a few moments, she spoke up.

"Baby? Jamie, what is it? What happened?"

James sniffled, "An-Angel?"

"I'm here baby. What happened?" she reassured him and asked again.

James began crying, trying desperately to explain the events of what had unfolded just a few hours ago. Gaining his composure the words came out in a flood, "There was an accident! Th-the bus ran off the road an' flipped over. Me, Lars, n' Kirk are okay. I think everyone else is too. But, Cliff...."

James' voice trailed off before he began crying again.

"Baby? C'mon talk to me," she urged him.

"Angel, we lost him. He got stuck under the bus an' we couldn't get him free. Oh god, Angel we lost him," James began sobbing hard now.

Through more tears and even anger, James managed to choke out the story. They'd been traveling down a back road in Sweden when the driver lost control of the bus. The back end of the vehicle swung around and ended up flipping several times. In the chaos, Cliff got thrown out the window and the bus landed square on the sleeping bassist, who by all accounts never woke up.

"Oh my god!"

She felt as if someone had knocked the wind out of her body. She tried to catch her breath but to no avail. She could hear Lars in the background asking James if he wanted him to finish the conversation with Dallis.

"Hey sis."

"Hey Larsie. Is he okay? Is my baby gonna be okay?"

"I don't know sis. Hell, I don't know if I'm gonna be okay. James wanted me to tell you we'll be heading back to San Fran in a couple of days. We're cuttin' the tour short," he explained. "You wanna talk to him again?"

"Yea."

"Here he is."

"Angel?"

"I'm here baby. I love you, I'll see you in just a few days okay?"

"Okay. I love you too."

With that the worst phone call of her life ended. Dallis sank to the floor and began sobbing harder than she ever had in her life. She couldn't understand why Cliff was gone. And all she wanted was her Jamie.

3 days later the boys were on their way back home. The flight back to San Francisco was the longest in James' life. His heart was sore and his usually dazzling blue eyes were red and slightly swollen from crying. He felt numb to the world, partially because he'd lost a brother and partially because he'd tried to block out the pain with vodka the night before. The same could be said for Lars and Kirk. He'd even gone as far as yelling for Cliff out on the street at 4 in the morning the night before, trying to convince himself that what had happened wasn't real. That had hit Kirk hard, and the fellow guitarist ended up in tears hearing his best friend in such heartbreak.

Lars patted him on the shoulder, "You'll be back to her soon buddy. Just a few more hours."

James nodded his head feebly and looked solemnly out the window.

Landing back in Cali, the only place James wanted to be was with his girl. He hailed the first cab that whizzed by, throwing the few bags he had in the trunk. The boys followed behind him, and all 3 clambering into the backseat. What seemed like another hour, they finally reached Dallis' house. James knocked on the door, secretly hoping that she'd be the one to answer the door. His face slightly fell when her mom stood in the open doorway.

"Come on in, boys. James, she's in her room."

He simply nodded and rushed through the house and down the narrow hall until he reached her bedroom. James opened the door slowly finally coming face to face with his girlfriend after so long. Dallis flung herself from her place on her bed straight into James' arms. They both began crying as James held her close for a few moments in the doorway. Entering the room, James placed himself on the edge of Dallis' bed.

"C'mere Angel," he said softly with outstretched

arms.

She collapsed in his lap and resumed sobbing.

"Why? Why is he gone baby?" she choked through the tears.

"I don't know Princess."

"I'm just glad you're safe."

"My body might be but I don't know if the rest of me will," replied James.

He rocked his girlfriend back and forth on his lap, letting her have her tears. The simple quiet act gave her some inner peace. Through the tragedy, she was elated to have her baby back.

"We'll get through this. Together," said Dallis.

She began curling her fingers around James' blonde mane that was scattered over his shoulders. He chuckled at the sight.

"You really like doin that don'tcha?"

She giggled, "Yea. Truth, I like playin with your hair. Always have."

"Remind me to never cut it off then," he joked, trying to lighten the mood.

The couple sat in solace for a few minutes, when the other now 2 thirds of Metallica asked to come in.

"Doors open guys," said Dallis.

Kirk and Lars poked their heads into the room. The couple gave them a final "O.K" to enter. They shared hugs all around and words of endearment. All seemed fine, but they knew the peace was only temporary. They knew that life without Cliff would never be the same.

James held Dallis in his arms later that night as they fell asleep. They shared a deep kiss, their eyes locked on each other's.

"I love you Jamie," Dallis whispered in the dark.

"I love you too Angel."

Their hearts were broken to have lost a brother so soon. Dallis was still reeling from losing Cliff but she knew that her Jamie would always be there for her. Just like she would always be there for him.

~RIP Clifford Lee Burton Feb 10 1962- Sept 27 1986~