locally hated in my hometown

the eternal deep

It's weird to imagine your thoughts as yourself. Like, imagine your body being torn in half; one half is in the past, the other half us being dragged away by other people, time or maybe it's just you trying to cut yourself in half

If I could, I'd never leave my house again, have a good use for a knife and have mood growing in my restless eyes.

Or maybe I just want to be alone for a few days.

But yeah, that's not possible anymore and that's my own masochistic fault. I feel insane for doing this, no one remotely understands where I'm getting at, maybe that's because I never tell them the full truth, that the only reason I do this is because I want to see myself suffer. They wouldn't understand, I know that, because I don't understand it myself. It's stupid and doesn't have any meaning.