BLUEPRINTS || Billie Eilish

Blurry conversations

Billie sat in her living room, the faint glow of early morning light filtering through the blinds, casting long shadows on the hardwood floor. The house was eerily quiet, the kind of silence that felt heavier than it should. She could feel the weight of it in her chest, a sense of loneliness she couldn't quite shake. There was nothing really wrong, but there was something unsettling about the emptiness, the stillness of her home.

She checked her phone again—it was 7:30 a.m. The contractors were supposed to arrive any minute, and the anticipation of having to face Kai twisted her stomach in knots. She sighed deeply, sinking further into the couch, her body weighed down by an unshakable loneliness. She was supposed to see her parents later that day, something she was looking forward to, but right now, all she could think about was Kai.

She hated how her thoughts kept circling back to that mortifying moment. Kai, on the ladder, locking eyes with her at the worst possible time. Billie felt her face burn just thinking about it. It wasn't just the embarrassment of being caught mid-orgasm. It was what had triggered it—Kai's face. The sudden rush of desire that coursed through her body when she saw her. Billie's stomach twisted at the memory, her mind running wild with thoughts she knew she shouldn't entertain. Kai's just here to work, she reminded herself. It's strictly professional. Get a grip.

Billie shook her head, trying to shake off the thoughts, hoping the distraction of the day's work would be enough to pull her out of this strange headspace. She grabbed her phone and mindlessly started scrolling through Instagram, reposting a few stories from friends hyping up her album. It was automatic at this point—click, scroll, repost—but her heart wasn't in it. Her mind was still stuck on that moment with Kai, the mortifying mix of pleasure and humiliation.

Suddenly, her thumb paused over a reposted video clip of her shouting at her security from the previous day. A deep sense of dread washed over her. She tapped on it, the shaky video playing in a fan's story. The footage captured her frustration as she yelled at the guards, her voice sharp and irritated. She winced, already knowing what was coming.

The same vitriol she had come to expect flooded the screen:

"Typical Billie, treating people like crap. Spoiled brat."

"White privilege at its finest."

"Money really changes people."

Billie's stomach twisted as she scrolled through the hate. Each comment felt like a punch, though she'd been through this enough times to know how to survive the blows. Why do I let this get to me? she thought bitterly, closing the app and tossing her phone aside.

Before she could sink deeper into her thoughts, there was a knock at the door.

Her heart skipped. 'Please don't let it be the contractors', she silently prayed, though she knew it almost certainly was. She wasn't ready to face Kai.

She opened it to find Miguel standing there with his usual easy smile.

"Good morning, Miss O'Connell," he greeted her, his voice warm. "I think you already know the drill by now." He chuckled lightly.

Billie chuckled lightly, though her mind was still clouded with anxiety. "Yeah," she muttered, grabbing her keys from the hook by the door.

Stepping out, she walked to the side of the house, Miguel following behind her. The air outside was crisp, the coolness a welcome change from the tension in her chest. She unlocked the gate and pushed it open, the sound of the metal clinking against the latch filling the quiet morning. "There we go," she said, offering a smile. "Can I get you guys anything? Coffee? A muffin?"

Miguel's eyes crinkled with gratitude. "You know what, ma'am? A cup of coffee would be wonderful, if it's not too much trouble." His voice was genuine, the wrinkles around his eyes deepening as he smiled.