Big Girls Cry

13

19-05-'09

I feel a hand on my shoulder. When I turn around, I see my teacher. Then I remember that I was crying, so I turn around again. I don't want anyone to see mee.

''girl, it's gonna be alright! You can sing, you just have a cold! Go home and drink tea with honey.''

I try to stop crying, but I can't. It's not that my voice is that bad, but everyone in this class is so much better. And I'm feeling like a fool in this singing class. Eveybody is laughing at me when I'm singing and it's just not fun anymore. But I'm not gonna give up. Singing is my hobby, and I like it so much, so I'm not gonna stop for some people that are laughing at me. Finally I stop crying.

''It's okay, I'll go home right now. See you next week...''

''Wait, Emma... Maybe it's better to take a break and just let your voice rest. It sounds very weak last weeks, and I think that you're really sick''

I look at her. Seriously? I mean... Seriously? I give her a sassy look, and walk away. When I walk into the studio, everyone is looking at me. Some people are laughing, but I don't care anymore. It's better to stop. I have no friends here and I don't like it, so why the fuck would I hold on? I grab my bag and run away.

When I'm waiting for my bus, I see someone from my singing class walking to the bus stop where I'm standing. It's Loïc. He's a shy boy, but his voice is one of the bests of the whole class.

''hey... Why did you walk away?''

I look at him. Ofcourse I'm not going to tell him. I'm pretty sure he's going to tell the whole class, just to be popular.

''why would I tell you?''

''eh, because I can help you... Maybe...''

''no.''

Ofcourse he can help me. I look away. I'm almost crying again. I'm a bitch, he's being so kind to me and all I can do is yell at him. Maybe I can just tell him how I feel. I really don't know what to do, but then he begins to talk.

''you can't just stop. You love singing, don't you?''

''yes, ofcourse I do! But don't need lessons to keep on singing...''

''it's better to have lessons, it will make your voice better!'''

''I don't want lessons if they are like these.''

''it would be so dissapointing if you would stop, because you have an amazing voice! Just hold on!''

''seriously, even the coach said I had to take a break. It's just better to stop.''

''please, just come next week.''

''I don't know...''

Then my bus is there. 

''just think about it!''

I don't give an answer, I only wave.

28-05-'09

When school is over, I'm cycling to my home. I'm very nervous, but I decided to just go to my sing class tonight. I have to be brave, I can't just let scare me. And I do it for Loïc...

When I'm already at home for 3 hours, the phone rings. 

''Hello, who is this?''

''hi, it's Loïc!''

Wait... What? Why the fuck is he calling me?

''eh... Why are you calling?''

How did he get my number?