Today marks exactly 85 days since I ran away from everyone, from my problems, and from the abundant life I once had.
Unforeseen events came early to bring me down.
I had to stop studying because I couldn't attend classes due to my physical condition.
"Grabe, no? Balitang-balita nga kahit doon sa probinsya namin."
I pushed the small cart to the side to reach the box in the middle.
"Baka sinisiraan lang, mabait nga at matulungin iyon si Gov." I tightened my grip on the handle, deciding to buy only one box of milk.
"Pero hindi eh, kakalat ba yung scandal kung hindi totoo? Mga politiko, balat-kayo lahat iyan. Biruin mo, estudyante— Ay!" The group of women in their thirties scattered when I accidentally pulled the lock of the cartons, causing them to fall.
"Pasensya na po." I apologized before turning my back on them. I weakly pushed the cart to the other aisle to get some food supplies.
I walked slowly because my hips were hurting earlier. My eyes caught sight of the bread. I wanted to grab some, but the price was too high. I reluctantly walked away because it would be too expensive.
I gently touched my belly. I wanted to eat that small bread with garlic cream inside, but I have to save up.
Despite my cravings, I forced myself to leave that spot.
The wad of cash I had was for my check-ups, for emergencies, and for the big day when I would give birth. The lying-in clinic where I have my check-ups advised me to consult a local hospital this coming week.
I had some bleeding, which has been going on for four days now. I thanked God that He didn't let my babies be harmed.
My spirit is really low. I am ashamed to go back home because of the mistakes I've made in life. On top of that, the sex scandal involving me and Martin spread. It wasn't supposed to be seen by anyone besides me and him. It was our private, intimate moment, so it shouldn't have been exposed to the public.
I know it's not him; he wouldn't do something that might ruin and critically damage his reputation.
He wouldn't do it, especially because he doesn't want to hurt me.
Kahit malabo at edited ang kopyang kumalat, nakita pa rin ang repleksyon namin maging ang logo ng kaniyang opisina.
I didn’t go to the meat section because I don't have my own fridge, and the other tenants might steal my food. There's a big refrigerator downstairs for everyone in the compound, but even if I label all my food, it still gets stolen.
Ayaw ko rin naman ng mga canned goods.
"Ne, may pila para sa buntis. Ayun oh." An old woman tapped me when I was in line. I nodded and slowly moved to the third lane.
However, while I was pushing the cart, I heard some words.
"Naku, iba na talaga mga kabataan. Kaya ikaw Cindy, mag-aaral kang mabuti, hindi ibang bagay ang aatupagin mo. Kung hindi, magagaya mo iyon, buntis kay bata pa."
From the corner of my eye, I saw the old woman looking at me while lecturing what seemed to be her granddaughter.
My legs and hands trembled from what I heard. I wanted to answer back to defend myself.
But I brushed it off because thinking about it too long might endanger the babies in my womb.
Just two plastic bags, but it cost me a couple thousand pesos because of the supplements and vitamins I needed. Dati naman hindi ko iniinda ang bawat halagang nagagastos ko, ngayon ang hirap palang mag-budget lalo na kung walang mapagkukunan.
