MY FIRST LOVE

The Month of February

It's been two months now to the day I got to know about his family's opinions and the future of our relationship.

It was the month of december and now it's february.

Since that day, everything has changed between us.

In a very negative way.

I never thought our relationship would come to this point.

The main thing was in our conversation he made his point clear that we don't have a future but I was not giving up upon him.

I tried to find many ways to make this work out.

I even tried to convince him.

First I had a conversation with him on a point that how much strict his parents are.

"some parents are really strict but Sometimes it happens that in certain age our parents tell us to not do some things which are not appropriate for our age children to do and on that basis we make a opinion that our parents are strict, they dont allow us to do anything, but as we grow up they start to allow us for doing some things and when we get a good job and get settle they allow us to live our life as we want. Ya! They do suggest many things but still the last decision is ours only"

So I wanted to know if his parents will be supportive once he gets a job or it will remain as it is.

so he told me that it will remain as it is, because he belonged from a rural area and there even after the person became an adult still he/she has to listen to thier parents.

So I got to know that this way is too difficult.

The people from his cast were also strict, so I asked him if he had planned to go to any other big cities for a job.

Because in big cities such things don't matter that much. the people there have no time to judge others or keep interest in others lives.

So i asked him if we can live together?

But again he was not planning to live in his hometown.

He even got a job in a nearby city.

what can I do now.

I was finding ways or having conversation with him because I don't exactly know the situation and opinions in his house or their family, so judging his family or giving up on him is wrong.

I wanted to find ways so that we can live happily ever after.

But after having so many conversations with him on this topic, one thing was clear to me now.

No matter how much I try, we don't have any future.

and even his behaviour was also changing now.

he sometimes ignores my messages or leaves them on seen .

and he was not even busy, because many times I saw he uploaded story the second ago I messaged him.

if he has time to upload a story then must also have time to talk to me but he does not.

If it was any other guy I would have never tolerated this humiliation, but I kept some patience.

I was tolerating this kind of behaviour for two months.

Even in these two months he played mind games with me, like 2 days he used to talk to me so nicely as if nothing happened, i used to get hope that maybe it was a phase and we will make it work, but again after two three days he used to start his antics like ignoring me, or not replying properly to my messages like I am nothing to him.

Now this was becoming too much for me to bear.

First I got to know suddenly that we have no future and then now he is not even treating me properly.

He is not the guy I used to love.

He is hurting me.

sometimes many things in life goes wrong and one question come to our mind that " Isse bura aur kya ho sakta hai"? (Can it go any worst than this ?)and then it actually becomes worse.

That only happened to me.

One day again I messaged him and our activity status on insta was on.

I can see he was active but he was not giving a reply to the message.

So that time i got so angry and started messaging him continuously.

after two minutes he opened my messages and then rather than asking me 'what happened?' with concern he started to fight with me.

That was the end of my patience.

We two had a very bad fight and at last he texted a message that not only shattered my heart but I felt my soul dying inside.

The message was " I don't think our relationship is like a relationship, I feel I had only attraction towards you, I don't feel anything anymore for you, let's break up".

I don't even know when tears started streaming down from my eyes.

I just replied him, " if this is what you want, ok, you will get it".

I don't even know what to reply to him.

In these two months he hurted me alot, I cried oceans for him, I also had thoughts about break up because he told me that we dont have a future, but when I had conversation with him not for once I uttered the word 'break up'.

I was hurt, I was angry and what not but still I never thought of living without him.

But now everything is over.

I'm not even able to believe that we are not together now.

He has not become a part of my life but he himself was my life.

he was with me I used to cherish that time, when he was not with me, I used to think about him only.

My mind was occupied by his thoughts 24 hours.

and now the things are different. 

now he is different

now we are different

and now

We broke up...