The aftermath || Sam and Colby

Relapse.

(TW: self harm)

No one's P.O.V

As Sam stood inside of his bathroom, still staring at the razorblade in front of him. He took out his hand to reatch out for it, But got stooped by a slight knock at his bedroom door. His eyes got torn away from it as he walked out of the bathroom and started heading twords the door, Sam's brain was in to much of a fog to even think twice about locking it up. He reached out and unlocked the door, thinking nothing of it.

That's until he saw Colby slowly walking into the room, Closing the door behind him. Colby's eyes where full of tears and sorrow "Sam can we please talk?"

Sam could feel all the anger and sadness well up all at once inside of him in that moment. "I can't believe you, Colby! How could you do that?" Sam's voice trembled with a mix of anger and hurt. He had kept replaying the day's events in his mind, over and over again. Feeling the raw emotions all over again.

Colby stood there, right infront of Sam's face, but he still couldn't look him in his eyes. Colby kept his eyes on the floor all the time that Sam spoke with him. After all Colby had done today. He couldn't even look at him?

Sam's sadness turned to rage as he realized the extent of Colby's prank. "You crossed the line, Colby! I thought i had lost you! You know I can't handle this kind of stuff. You're supposted to be my best friend!" I screamed in his face.

Colby spoke up, trying to make amends. "Sam, come on, it was just a prank. We've done crazier things. You know I'd never put you in real danger."

Now it was Sam's turn to remained silens, his eyes fixed on the floor. The hurt in his heart was too fresh, and he couldn't bring himself to forgive Colby just yet. Colby couldn't even see that he had done something wrong.

Colby's anxiety started to creep up on him as he realized the severity of Sam's reaction. "I'm sorry, man. I went too far. I didn't think it would affect you like this."

The room fell silent, heavy with unspoken emotions. Colby knew Sam's struggles with anxiety and feeling down, and he felt a pang of guilt for maybe triggering something darker within him. Sam, lost in his thoughts, was still thinking about that one razor blade inside of his bathroom. He tried to remind himself why he had become clean, But tonight, the urge to punish himself for his perceived weakness was overwhelming.

"Can you please leave me alone now?" Sam said, looking at Colby with tierd eyes. Colby looked at Sam with consern in his eyes, not wanting to leave Sam alone in this moment. But still, Colby nodded as an answar and turned around to leave the room.

Sam closed the door softly, locking it. Leaving Colby alone with his thoughts. Sam startet walking twords his bathroom again. The once lively house now felt eerily quiet.

Inside his bathroom, Sam's tears fell silently as he sat down and pulled up his sleeve, stared at the faded scars on his arms. The emotional turmoil of the day had opened old wounds, and he felt a desperate need to release the pain.

He reached for the blade, his fingers trembling. He took the blade against his arm and thought about it for a minut, and before he knew it. He made one cut, two, three, four. After almost eight times he felt a feeling of relief, but the guilt and shame soon followed.

Colby still stood outside of Sam's bathroom, carfully listening to Sam's quiet tears leaving his body. He heard Sam vince in pain and Colby sensed that something was wrong, knocked gently on Sam's door. "Sam? Are you okay?."

Sam's heart raced as he heard Colby's voice. He thought he would have gone away, he quickly hid the blade and took on a hoodie to cover his armes, trying to stop the bleeding whit it. "Go away, Colby. I need to be alone," Sam said, his voice hoarse.

"No, Sam. I'm not leaving until we talk. I'm sorry, okay? I was being stupid and reckless. I didn't mean to hurt you," Colby pleaded, his anxiety reaching a fever pitch.

Sam didn't answar Colby's voice, insted he walked directly over to his bed, laying himself down under the covers. Sam was so conflicted with his own thoughts. His worst fear in the world was loosing Colby, but now he felt like crying and throwing up everytime he saw him.

Sam could hear Colby's footsteps disapering away from his room. He laid there, on his bed, staring up twords the celing for almost an hour. Feeling the pain of his wounds pulsing in his arm. He was to scared to go back to sleep, to scared of all the nightnares that could come. So he just laid there until he felt himself going crazy.

Then he rememberd, the bottle of whisky he had bought for him and Colby a couple of days ago.  They was gonna take it with them to a party but forgot it inside of Sam's room. Sam stood up, ignoring the pain in his arm, and went into the corner of his room. He saw the brown little papper bag and liftet it up, taking it with him to the bed.

He went back to his bed, sitting himself down and taking out the bottle of whisky from the bag. He opend it and took three deep gulps out of it, he felt the licquid  travel it's way down to his stomach. Feeling the warm feeling of alcohol entering him.

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