Staring Over

Chapter 6

Time Jump to today

So this just happened and I wanted to get it out of my system before I get back to the past. So since I left him, I have been living with my grandparents in another state with my two youngest children. Things have been hectic but they are finally starting to move forward. My daughter had quit eating for a bit and I got her back to having a healthy appetite and she is laughing and happy out here in the country. She has even found a passion for photographing nature! My youngest son loves being able to play outside without having to worry about anything. My kids are happy and that makes me happy.

I have been confused for awhile because I thought I would mourn what I left behind but honestly I haven't cried once while I am here. The only time I get angry is when I have to deal with him and his attitude. I have opened my eyes and realized just how narcissistic and egotistical he is and I no longer want to bend myself to make him happy.

Anyway, as I said things have been good. I have gotten my license renewed and transferred to my new state, I have been applying for jobs even though I know it will be hard since I haven't worked in fifteen years, and I even got the paperwork to enroll the kids in school once their birth certificates arrive in the mail. I had to order new ones because their original ones got lost in a previous move along with their social security cards so I have to order new ones so I can get the kids back in public school instead of continuing homeschooling since I now have to work.

Well anyway, the kids caught the stomach bug that is going around and so this morning I texted him to let him know I needed to cancel their visitation. He had the nerve to try and tell me how to take care of them and even tried to tell me what medication to get them! Um, excuse me??? I know how to care for my kids! I have been doing it since they were born and I had to teach him how to care for them!

I played nice even though I really didn't want to while rolling my eyes and then went to the store and got them what I knew they needed. I kept reminding myself that for the sake of an easy divorce it was better to just be nice and keep him updated on how they were doing. Thankfully their fevers have yet to spike really high and they have managed to keep their appetites.

Well a couple of hours ago it was time for me to check their temps again and I had left my phone on the charger since the battery was low. I was away from it for maybe ten minutes max and when I finally sat down to eat I noticed that I had three missed calls from him. I called him back expecting him to ask about the kids and I was completely wrong.

The first thing out of his mouth was, "Have you finished the paperwork?"

Um, excuse me???? What the hell are you talking about? What paperwork? Why isn't your first question about how the children are doing? I didn't say that though, I just asked him what paperwork he was talking about and he had the fucking nerve to ask if I had sent in my copy of the divorce papers yet! I had to take a deep calming breath before I snapped and said something that would have caused a huge fight.

"I still haven't received my driver's license yet," I said through clenched teeth. "As I have told you before I have to have the plastic driver's license so I can get a colored photocopy of it to send in. I can't spend up the mailing process and I told you that when I receive it I would let you know when I send in the paperwork. I can't send it in if I don't have my license yet. All I have right now is the paper temporary license and that won't work."

"Fine," he huffed in annoyance.

I roll my eyes since this is like the third, or forth, or fifth time that I have told him I only have my temporary paper license right now. Why the fuck is he pushing for the divorce right now when our children being sick should be his priority??? He should be asking about the kids, not the fucking divorce! It's not like I'm trying to drag it out, it's just not something that I can control! Trust me, if I could I would make tracking mail so much easier! I don't want to stay married to him but I can't speed up the process either! And why is he pushing it so much? It's not like he can marry his homewrecking whore when she lives in another state! And on top of that, they are getting complaints at work from other co-workers about constantly being on video calls with each other 24/7 and it affecting their work. And also we still have to have the judge sign off on the damn divorce once I am able to finish filling out the paperwork and there is no guarantee the judge will sign it and once they do we still have to wait sixty days for it to be finalized! It's still going to be a long process and I have told him this numerous times, so why the fuck is he still pushing it when there are other priorities like our sick children!!!!

It's just so fucking frustrating! Sorry but not sorry the divorce is not on the top of my list of concerns right now, MY children are more important than paperwork that I can't do anything about at the moment. I swear, some people need to grow the fuck up. Anyway, deep breaths, calming breaths, karma will handle it when the time is right, that's what I need to keep telling myself. Things will happen the way they are supposed to happen. Just keep focusing on my children and creating a healthier, better life for them. Fuck it, I need some chocolate and a Tim Burton movie now...