A Lesson from Pithru Paksha

The Ritual of Giving

It was the sacred month of Pithru Paksha, a time deeply revered in Hindu tradition, marked by devotion and rituals meant to honor our ancestors. The tradition, rooted in ancient Vedic scriptures, speaks to the connection between the living and the departed, and the continuous exchange of blessings and gratitude between them. This year, I decided to organize a special Shradh Ceremony for my forefathers with a renowned head priest from our community. At over 70 years of age, his presence exuded wisdom, discipline, and a lifetime of dedication to spiritual service.

The ceremony was held in our ancestral home, attended by family members, and filled with reverence and respect. We meticulously arranged every single item needed for the rituals — grains, flowers, sacred threads, fruits, vessels, and multiple plates — with utmost care. Every item was set up in a ritualistic pattern, symbolizing offerings to our forefathers and invoking their blessings. It took almost two hours for the ceremonies to conclude, and the entire atmosphere was charged with spiritual energy.

As the ceremony progressed, I noticed that many household items like large plates, bowls, and tumblers, which were meant for serving food to the guests later, had been incorporated into the ritual setup. The items, gleaming under the flickering flames of the ritual fire, were now a part of the sacred proceedings. Curious and slightly concerned about the availability of serving ware for the guests, I approached the assistant priest and hesitantly asked, "Can I take the plates for serving food?"

The sudden outburst of the head priest took me by surprise. His voice boomed through the stillness of the ceremony hall, "These plates now belong to the ritual! They cannot be disturbed or removed!" Startled and embarrassed, I quickly stepped back, realizing my mistake.

It was only later that I began to grasp the depth of his reaction. Hindu rituals, particularly those conducted during Pithru Paksha, are not just acts of devotion but are deeply symbolic gestures rooted in centuries of tradition and cultural beliefs. The act of offering includes not just items like food, water, or flowers, but also everything that is a part of your daily life — things that you use, cherish and hold valuable

This offering symbolizes "Vairagya", the act of detachment. By giving up something that you own, you symbolically detach yourself from materialism and show that you are willing to share a part of your life with those in the spiritual realm. The priest's reaction was not out of anger, but out of an effort to preserve the sanctity of the offering — anything given up during the ritual, even if it's just a plate, becomes a symbolic representation of our reverence and gratitude to the ancestors.

The items used in these rituals, like plates, bowls, and vessels, are often kept aside as a "Dakshina" or "Brahman Bhojan" — a form of sacred offering to the priest who performs the ceremony. The belief is that these items, once a part of the ritual, hold the energy and blessings of the ancestors and should be given as a gift to those who have facilitated the communication between the physical and spiritual worlds.

The Bhagavad Gita (Chapter 3, Verse 12) mentions, "The gods, being pleased by sacrifices, will bestow upon you the enjoyment you desire. He who enjoys the gifts bestowed by them, without offering (anything) in return, is verily a thief." This illustrates the principle of reciprocity and why what is offered should not be taken back."Manu Smriti" (Chapter 3, Verse 82) emphasizes, "A gift, once given for a ritual, belongs no more to the giver but to the one who receives it, carrying the essence of the offering made to deities and forefathers." This reinforces the idea that all items used in rituals, regardless of their mundane value, take on spiritual significance once they become part of the ritual."Garuda Purana" (Chapter 7) talks about the significance of offerings to ancestors, stressing that even the smallest items, if given with faith, become a conduit for blessings, binding the giver to the spiritual realm.

In Hindu rituals, the practice of offering extends beyond physical objects. It's about offering a piece of yourself — your comforts, your material possessions, and ultimately your ego. When a ritual is completed, every item that was part of it — whether it's a pot of water, a piece of fruit, or a gold plate — symbolizes a complete "tyaga" (sacrifice). The priest's role is not just to perform the ritual, but also to act as the recipient of this offering, carrying the energy forward.

One famous instance is from the story of Karna in the Mahabharata. Karna was known for his extreme generosity. Once, when he was performing a ritual, a Brahmin approached him for alms. Without hesitation, Karna took off his golden armor, which was a part of his ritual attire, and offered it to the Brahmin. This act of giving away something integral to his being exemplifies the core value of self-sacrifice in Hindu traditions, showing that once something becomes a part of a ritual, it is no longer yours.

Many people may not fully understand these practices in modern times, leading to confusion, as I experienced during the ceremony. However, it's essential to approach these rituals with an open mind and humility. Understanding the symbolic importance of giving and detachment can help us connect more deeply with the ritual's purpose.

If you feel uneasy or confused during rituals, try these techniques to ground yourself

Focus on Your Breath: Take deep breaths to center yourself and stay present.Offer Gratitude Mentally: Silently express gratitude to your ancestors, acknowledging the ritual's deeper meaning.Observe Without Interference: Watch and learn, rather than seek to control or modify the process.Engage in Mantras: Repeating mantras can help you stay spiritually aligned and mindful of the ritual's purpose.Conclusion

The experience taught me that rituals are about giving — giving not just physical objects but also our ego, our desires, and our attachment to material comforts. Everything offered in the ceremony symbolizes our respect and surrender. As I watched the priests take each item, I realized that it was not a loss but a form of spiritual exchange — an offering of faith, respect, and gratitude to those who have come before us. And in return, we receive their blessings — a gift far more valuable than anything we could ever offer.

The next time I prepare for a ritual, I will remember that each plate, bowl, and grain is more than an item — it is a piece of myself, given freely to honor my ancestors, and that is where the true beauty of the ritual lies.