Love on the road

Chapter seventeen

⚠️⚠️ Waring! SA, Flashbacks, Panic attacks!!⚠️⚠️

I woke up in the warmth of a bed and felt my whole body ache when I tried to move to the side. I heard the rain outside on the balcony window. I looked around and saw Theos room with clothes all over the place and a tray with a coffee mug and two toast with a letter on the bedroom table.
I reached for the letter and saw bandages on my wrists and memories from yesterday flashed in my mind. I frowned but grabbbed the letter anyway.

God morning love, Theos out shopping for todays dinner and I'm out on business but Theo will come home shortly.

Hugs and kisses Leo <3

I smiled as I read the last sentence and felt my eyes tearing up but I took a deep breath instead and looked down and saw that I was wearing Leo's Rammstein T-shirt and I smiled down. When I got up and grabbed the toast I saw myself in the body mirror on the door and saw the hand marks after yesterday and even more hickys and bite marks left on my body after.

Her...

I opend the door and looked for my bag and picked out my cigarettes. I light up a cigarette and walked to the balcony door and stod by it and smoked.

Why did I think she wouldn't hurt me... She's a gangster... I really thought she loved me...

I'm a fool for even thinking she would ever love me..

I smoked three cigarettes before I heard my phone ringing. I had my last cigarette in my mouth as I grabbed my phone. Suki was on the other line. I sighed and picked up the phone

"What's up..?"

"WHATS UP?! THATS ALL YOU HAVE TO SAY?!" She shouted into the phone and I sighed out a breath of smoke.

"What do you want me to say?" I sat down on the bed side.

"Well... I don't know but something better then that..."

"I heard what happened from Niko.." She continued and I got irritated just thinking about him being in the same room as Suki.

"Of course you did.." I said frustrated.

"What do you mean?"

"STOP BEING WITH THEM IF YOU HAVE HEARD WHAT HAPPEND TO ME?!" I shoted back.

"YOUR MAD THINKING THAT HES BETTER THEN MARTINA!!" I felt my eyes watering of anger.

"Wha-" I cut her off

"Do you really think he loves you??" I snapped angrily and I heard her sobbing.

"Go home Suki! Don't let him fuck up your life like Martina has done to me!" I said and heard myself use a cold voice to Suki.

"... Okey Es.. I'm sorry again for what happens to you, But it doesn't mean he's like her!" She tried to beg to try to have faith in him. I stod up and took another puff of my smoke.

"You are fucking mad Suki for giving him a chance... HES A FUCKING GANGSTER FOR FUCK SAKES!" I shoted her at the end and I heard her starting to cry on the other line and I felt my heart brake.

"I'm sorry for this but you can't trust a gangster Suki... Don't make the same mistake I have... Look what happened to me.." I said as my own tears started to fall down my face.

I can't let her make the same mistake I did. Trusting a gangster

"I know... I'm sorry Es..." She sobbed and ended the call

I'm losing my best friend... To a gangster...

I sat down in the bed again and my tears were like flames burning down my cheeks as I continued to smoke. I was so exhausted from yesterday and pissed off at myself for not listening to Leo from be beginning. He warned me that she was dangerous and that I should have left her from the beginning but I didn't listen I wanted her to be miss right. But in the end I'm alone again, hurt again, marks on my body telling me to myself how dumb I am. Just like Tommy said to me.

~~~~~~~Flashbacks

"Stupid child!" Tommy slammed me into the wall and I fell down on the floor alredy bleeding.

"HOW DARE YOU GO TO WOMEN?! YOUR A DISGRACE TO YOUR FAMILY!" He kicked me in my chest and I coughed up blood and he kicked me again and again and again.

"Just wait here... I will help you get away from this sickness" He said and called a number on his phone. I didn't care I just wanted to get away from him I started to crawl away from him and when I got to the backyard door I felt someone grab my hair and dragged me inside to the living room again.

"DONT YOU MOVE A MUSCLE YOU FAGGOT!" He slapped me across my face and I feel down on the couch. After a while a group of men came in and the pointed at me and Tommy nodded.

"I will fix you love" An old man said and brought his hand down to his pants and grabbed his hard member. Tommy sat down and watched me on the couch liveless as the men helped themselves get undressed. Two held me down and the other man started to undress me. My jeans were on the floor with my top and underwear. He started fingering me with his disgusting fingers and then he put his cock inside on me and started pounding me hard. I screamed out in pain and begged them to stop but then I got a cock inside my mouth as the other held my hands tight in a grip. I couldn't breathe and my tears were running down my face as I tried to scream for help and Tommy watched me close and shook his head.

"They will fix you... You Faggot" He said as they continued to pound me from my ass and mouth.

~~~~~~~~End of flashback

I feel down on the floor and cried out until I screamed out in pain.

NOT THAT MEMORY!! ANYTING BUT NOT THAT!!

My body bagan to shaking as my breathing got worse I dropped my cigarette on the floor but quickly grabbed it not wanting it to light up the apartment. I threw the cigarette out the balcony door and pulled my legs up to my chest and started to think about my breathing.

"In slow... out slow" I muttered to myself in the bedroom as I began shaking worse and my eyes closed themselves. Trying to only focus my mind on my breathing.

Then I felt a hand on my shoulder and I tried to opend my eyes but alas no. That someone moved their hands up and down my shoulders and pulled my closer to them. Holding me tight so I could feel their breath in and out slow. As they moved their hand up and down slowly down my back. I tried to follow their breath In and out. Then I felt a kiss on my head and I froze. I open my eyes to see a tattooed neck and I pulled away and saw black long hair. I looked up and saw two brown eyes looking worried at me and before me sat Martina holding me tight as if she cared for me.

"GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME!" I shouted at her and pushed her away from me and stod up from the floor. She stod up with me and grabbed my hands.

"please.. Let me explain myself..." She triad to pull me closer but I pushed her again and ran out the and saw Leo in the living room with two elderly but still beautiful woman in the kitchen staring at us coming out of the bedroom.

"WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK!!" Leo shouted.