us? not anymore..

He pulled me on his lap and placed his hand on my thigh, squeezing it gently.
"God you're driving me insane.." He said while pressing gentle kisses on my neck.
"Why do you always have to be like this.."
I said in a low tone and looked away.
"Care to speak louder, flower?" He said, still leaving kisses and marks on my neck.
"..."
He squeezed my thigh again but less gentle this time.
"You know I would never say i love you, flower" he said.
I continued to look away, he runs his fingers through my hairs.
"Instead I would say how soft these hairs of yours are" he buried his face in my hairs and nuzzled. "How you smell good" he traced his hand on my neck to my lips, brushing his thumb against them. "How soft and delicious these beautiful lips of yours are, I would kiss them for ever" now his other hand was on my waist, gripping it. "And your slender waist, a great place for my hands to rest on." He grabbed my chin gently and turned my face to his, face to face, eyes to eyes.
"I love everything about you, flower. You're my everything and I swear to god that I'll throw myself off the highest building ever if you leave me."
I looked at his eyes and smiled slightly, I really seemed crazy that time...i still am.
It's been six years by now and no us.
It's complicated, I just wish I could tell him how much I love him. Now he's out there somewhere, busy with stupid things that I can't even figure out.
What can I say? I loved him and he loved me, yep it was that easy. There's no reason for taking it hard.
Maybe if I ever could come out of this place I would go and find him. I might be crazy but he's as crazy as I am.
"I'll find him."
One day I'll get out of this shitty place and live a life.

*knock on the door*

The nurse enters my room with a tray of food, she smiles at me and puts the tray down on table. "I see you're up early" she says.
"What day is it?" I ask.
"July,15th" she says. I quickly get up and walk towards the door.
"Open the door"
The nurse sighs. "Sorry Katelyn, I can't"
"Open the god damned door!" I bang on the door, trying to open it.
"Katelyn calm down please"
"I said OPEN IT! I have to go, I have to go and see him!" But the nurse just stands there and looks at me, she sighs again and presses the emergency botton on the wall. A few nurses rush to the room and pull me away from the door but I continue struggling. "LET GO! You don't understand! I have to go! It's our anniversary, LET GO!!" I continue struggling but the nurses pull me back to the bed, tying me there.
"YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND I NEED TO GO BACK!!"
"You're not going anywhere, Katelyn" the nurse says in calm tone, picking up an ampoule.
"I promised him! You can't keep me here forever!! I finally will go find him!"
"He died Katelyn, six years ago." She says and step closer to me. My eyes winden in realization.
"He died exactly in front of your eyes. now please calm down or I'll have to force you to." I just stare at the wall, the nurses, the walls of this asylum...i miss him.
And then everything goes dark.