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Silence. That's what I crave.
It's not that I don't have anything to say-it's that no one ever truly listens. People talk too much, fill the air with empty words, but when it comes down to it, they never mean what they say.
Silence, though-that's real. It's peaceful. It doesn't betray you. Sitting here, in the quiet, I don't have to pretend. I don't have to be the son of Kim Sehyun or the product of a broken family. I can just... be. No expectations, no lies. Just me and my thoughts.
My father, Kim Sehyun, the perfect CEO, the successful businessman-the man who ruined everything. People look up to him like he's a god, but they don't know him like I do.
They don't see the cracks in the facade, the lies he hides behind that charming smile. They don't know how much I hate him. I can't even think of him without feeling anger rising inside me.
How can a man claim to love my mother while betraying her at the same time? It doesn't make sense. Love doesn't make sense.
I was sixteen when I saw it with my own eyes. My father, laughing with another woman, as if my mother didn't exist, as if she wasn't at home waiting for him. The look on his face, the way he touched that woman-it was like a punch to my gut.
And when I saw my mother crying later, it shattered something inside me. How could he do that to her? To us? I'll never forget the way she looked, broken and lost. I swore that day I'd never let myself trust anyone like that. Love is just another word for pain.
It's why I don't talk much. What's the point? People who talk a lot are usually the ones hiding the most. Like him-my father. Every word out of his mouth is a performance, a tool to manipulate.
That's what people do, they talk until they wear you down, make you believe in their lies. I'd rather stay quiet. In silence, there's no need to pretend, no need to protect myself from the inevitable disappointment. I've seen enough betrayal to know that trusting others only leads to getting hurt.
But there are two people I can't shut out-my mother and Yoongi-hyung. My mother is the strongest person I know. She deserves better than what life has given her, but she carries on like a warrior. She doesn't need me to talk, she knows what I'm feeling without me saying a word.
Yoongi hyung.. he's the closest one. He's been there for me in ways my father never has. He doesn't push me to talk either. We can sit in silence for hours, and it's enough. He understands me, maybe better than anyone else.
Yoongi gets it-why I prefer silence. He's the one person I don't have to explain myself to. "People talk because they're scared of the quiet," he once told me, and it made sense. Silence makes people uncomfortable because it forces them to confront what they're running from.
But for me, it's the opposite. I feel safest in the quiet. No one can hurt you when the only company you have is your own thoughts. Sometimes I wonder if that makes me strange, but then I remember the world I grew up in, and it feels like the only thing that makes sense.
