Collide (Impact Book 2) | h.s. | complete

30. What You Deserve

~Tori~

"What the hell is he doing here?" Tanner asked as he stood in the doorway, his eye flicking between us.

"Tanner, calm down." Liam hissed.

"No, I knew you would pull something like this Payne, I knew you were on his side."

"There are no sides, Tan, don't you get that?" I cried as Ciella whined. Harry glanced down at her fear taking over his features before he tightened his grip on her holding her impossibly close. "Now with Ciella in the world we all have to work together. You've been so good with her but I know this isn't the life that you want...I know that you feel obliged to be here and I don't want to put that on you. I want you to be free and to have your life." I stood and stepped closer to Tanner whose anger was clear through his body language and the redness of his face.

"You can't do this..." He spat, his chest heaving. "He abandoned you."

"No Tanner, I abandoned him." I whispered. I did not cry. I did not feel the need to cry. After three years of tears and pain and dramatic door slamming and secrets I no longer felt that I needed to cry. I didn't need to cry about any of it. "Harry is her father. There's nothing that either of us can do about it, and I wouldn't change it if I could." I turned to see Liam, Niall and Harry looking back at me and my heart ached for home. For my family, even for Louis and Zayn who, no doubt, hated me now more than ever...

"Tori go pack a bag." Harry said, Ciella still bundled in his strong, able arms.

"Okay," I breathed, turning back to Tanner. I couldn't meet his eyes because part of me did feel as though I had used him. As I left the living room I heard Tanner begin to protest.

"Tanner I want you gone by the time she comes back down stairs." Liam said sternly. "You can come back once we're gone tomorrow and get all of your things but you're no longer welcome here."

~Harry~

Tanner turned to me, his eyes wide.

"I took care of your kid..." He tried and I nodded.

"And for that I'm thankful, but you know you had an impact on Tori's decision to leave. You could have talked her out of it but you let her run for your own benefit."

"Please," He began, stepping forward, his eyes landing on Ciella. "Don't take them from me, they're all I have. She's all I've ever had."

"Tanner..." I said, shifting Ciella into one arm while I placed the other on his shoulder. "You don't deserve them." And with that I passed him and Niall followed.

~

I hummed softly as I rocked Ciella back and forth, occasionally raising her to my lips to kiss her soft skin. My arms had grown tired, as I hadn't put her down since I first held her but I didn't mind. My heart was so full that I couldn't even process the grave betrayal that Tori would inevitably never let me forget because her guilt often got the best of her.

"She knows who you are." Tori's voice startled me and I turned. Her tired eyes closed quickly in the dim light of the nursery. "I told her all about you."

"You did?" I asked, looking back down at my daughter. A silent tear ran down my cheek and I turned my head to wipe it with my shoulder.

"No tears now, I'm so tired of crying." Tori said, coming to stand beside me.

"I'm sorry it's just that..." I hiccupped shaking my head. "I knew I'd find you here. I had no idea how you would react or...I just...I never expected..."

"A daughter," Tori finished for me and I nodded taking my bottom lip between my teeth.

"You know when I first saw you behind the desk at your uncle's I knew you were different. I knew you had a beautiful mind and that you wouldn't let anyone change it. I knew I didn't just want to take you home one night and never speak again but I also knew I couldn't live without you. Then...all of this happened with the band and the tour and I didn't know how I got myself into such a fucking mess. But I loved it. Every second of pain and anger and hurt and confusion and every single tear was worth it. The past two years without you were hell and I never thought I would make it but they were worth the wait." I said, my heart in my throat. "I showed up today expecting to lose it all but instead I gained everything I've ever wanted. I'm not just holding someone's baby because they have better things to do or because they want a picture. I don't have to give her back after a few minutes."

"You haven't put her down since you got here," Tori choked on a sob and I shook my head.

"Because she's mine. I made her and I love her more than I've ever loved anything in the world." We were quiet for a moment. "Except you, of course. I love you just as much."

"Can we make this work?" Tori asked looking up at me through thick lashes. "All of this. Can you forgive me?"

"Tori," I whispered, taking her cheek in my hand. "I already have." I said before pressing my lips to hers. When we broke apart, she buried her face in my chest and we stood for a while, quiet but content. "Hey Tori," I said and she nodded. "What do you say we go home?" She looked up at me and a smile broke out across her face.

"Home." He pondered, before nodding. "I'd like that very much."