Cameron x Nash Short Stories - cash -

The Gilded Age Part Nine

We've been at this cabin for almost a month now, we were supposed to head back to NYC a week ago but we decided to stay longer. Cameron blew up my friends phones soon after we arrived, he's still calling and sending them messages that he wants to speak to me. I don't even know if he actually knows why I left but I don't want to talk to him at all. They didn't let me see his text messages or listen to his voicemails, I wanted to but they stopped me. I'm grateful to have such amazing friends. We're finally heading back today, they don't want me to leave the city and so Shawn worked it out with his parents and I'm going to stay with them. The only reason I agreed is because I love my friends and I would miss them desperately.

My heart hurts, I miss Cameron so much. I miss everything about my life with him and I want to go back to him but I can't. I have to stay strong in this, he ruined my life and then came in like a white knight pretending to save me from a miserable existence that was of his doing.

"How are you feeling?" Johnson asks me, I'm sitting on a window sill staring outside. It's raining and the woods like beautiful.

"Like I want to tear my heart out because it hurts so much," I reply truthfully, Johnson wraps his arms around me and I bury my face in chest. He rubs my back soothingly and I ache for Cameron, I want him to be the one comforting me. I feel so conflicted because I don't want to go back to him but at the same time I do. I wonder what he's doing, maybe he's moved on already. He has a high sex drive and I can't imagine him not having sex for an entire month. My thoughts just make me feel worse about the entire situation. I'm the one that left him and yet the thought of him being with anyone else makes me sick.

"Time heals the wounds in your heart, Nash. I know it's hard right now but you're resilient, you're strong and I know you can make it through this." Johnson whispers to me, he cups my cheeks with his hands and strokes them gently, forcing me to meet his eyes. The sincerity in my friend's eyes calm me down so much, he truly believes what he's telling me and he's not just saying it to make me feel better.

"Thank you so much, Jack... I don't know where I'd be without you guys. I doubt I'd be able to it through without your support." I murmur and he smiles softly.

"We're here for you, always." He tells me and then he stands up. "Let's go, we have a city to return to."

He holds out his hands and I take them, I stand up and we go out to the car where Shawn and Gilinsky are finishing packing it up. I get in the car and I rest my head on the window. Shawn drives us and the trees become a blur as he speeds through the road.

I want to know how Cameron is doing so badly, I want to know if he's replaced me. I decide to sneak by his townhouse when we get to the city. I'll just have to tell my friends I'm going for a walk and need some alone time to think. The hours drag by and I sigh in relief as we finally enter the city. Shawn drops Johnson and Gilinsky off at their houses and then we head to his.

We enter his house and Shawn shows me the guest room. I unpack my things, Cameron is just a few blocks over and he should be getting home soon. I let Shawn know I'm going for a walk and then I leave the house. I walk quickly to Cameron's townhouse and when it comes into view my heart flutters. This is the longest time I've ever been without Cameron, I miss him so fucking much. The ache in my heart has not lessened at all.

I'm kind of cliche but I hide behind a tree and watch the house intently to see if I notice any movement. I decide to stick around for 30 minutes, that's a short enough period of time that Shawn won't question where I've been. I see his limo coming down the street and my heart starts beating faster because I know Cameron is in it. I wish I could go up to him and tell him everything is okay, but I have to be strong. The driver parks in front of the house and Cameron gets out before he has a chance to loop around the limo. I catch a glimpse at his face, he looks exhausted and unhappy. It might sound selfish but I'm a little happy he looks like that, maybe it means he misses me and that he hasn't replaced me yet.