I think I fell for you

Prologue: Turkish tea and a stranger's smile

Summer love hurts the most, and whoever said this quote for the first time was totally right. I don't know why I started with this phrase, but I guess it's because I want to give you a glimpse that this will be about my greatest summer love. Yes, I had other summer flings too, and yes, they were nice and cute, but this was different. Was it because it happened in Istanbul? I don't know. I only know that it was magical. Maybe it was because of the city's energy, maybe because we were meant to meet at that time and feel the sparks in our eyes, or maybe because we both needed to feel that special touch from someone, even if only for that summer of two thousand and twenty-one.

COVID destroyed our lives from the inside out, and like everyone else, it was a hard period for me as well. Most of us lost our close ones, and others lost themselves, and guess what? I'm one of the latter. I will not go into details because I know you're expecting to hear about the first kiss between my summer love and me, but yes. After COVID is when all of it started.

And it started like this...

I was sitting in my room after many sleepless nights, wondering, overthinking... Oh wait, maybe now you're imagining my room in Istanbul - before you do that, let me tell you that I'm not from Istanbul, and not even from Turkey. So, I invite you to imagine me sitting in a corner of a room in a village house, where outside, you can hear the birds in the morning or the crickets in the evening. I was sitting with my laptop one evening (with the crickets, too) and I didn't know what to do with my life. I had some savings for traveling, and what is one of the best escapes from reality and problems? Going on a trip, right? That's what I did. I booked my hotel in Istanbul in the Sultanahmet area, and the next day I had my ticket. It was quick. If you've never heard of the Sultanahmet area of Istanbul, it's the historical part of the city where you can find the Grand Bazaar and the Egyptian Bazaar as well. It's a nice area for exploring, as you'll immerse deeply in the history of the city. I'll probably tell you more about Istanbul later, but for now, let me focus on my arrival day.

When I arrived in Istanbul, I went straight to my hotel. I couldn't check in yet because it was early, but I could still serve myself breakfast, so that's what I did. I went to the top floor where the breakfast place was, along with the balcony. I served myself some eggs, cheese, olives, cucumbers, and, of course, Turkish tea. There was an empty table on the balcony, so I went to sit there. On my way, I noticed from the corner of my eye a (handsome) man looking at me as I walked. He was having breakfast too and doing something on his laptop. Nothing. I sat down and opened my laptop as well to finish some work while enjoying my Turkish breakfast. Now, don't imagine the view from the balcony as one of those on Instagram reels with the Bosphorus view in front and ferries floating by. My view was of another building, actually, another hotel, and between the curtains, I could see the legs of people who were still sleeping. That's fine, I thought, and I continued working, enjoying the first sip of Turkish tea. I stayed there from 7 a.m. to 2 p.m. and then I could finally check in. I left my bags and I spent the day exploring Istanbul, and even though it wasn't my first time there, this city always impresses me. It has something special, something unique, some magic in the air, in every corner, every shop, and every person. I have this little tradition of drinking a lot of tea on my first day in Istanbul (yes, that was not my first time there), along with fresh orange juice. Sometimes I take the pomegranate one too.

In the evening, I went back to the hotel and up to the balcony to continue working. Do you remember the man from earlier? He was there again, still with his laptop, just like in the morning. Probably working on something. Maybe he was a digital nomad, I thought, or maybe a student.

I wasn't sure what made me bold enough to smile at him when our eyes met. Maybe it was the relaxed vibe of the city, or maybe the long hours of wandering Istanbul had loosened the grip of my usual reserve. But I smiled, and to my surprise, he smiled back. An easy, warm smile that made me forget for a moment the restless nights I had spent before coming here.

"What are you working on?" he asked, closing his laptop slightly and leaning back in his chair. His accent was unmistakably Russian, but his tone was soft and easygoing. We started talking about our work, then Istanbul, the places we had visited, the stories we carried from our own corners of the world. His voice was calm, his presence steady, and soon enough, we were exchanging Instagram, as if it was the most natural thing in the world. I didn't know why I gave it to him. It felt strange, in a way, to let someone like him into my life, even if it was just through a screen. But there was something comforting about the idea of having a small connection in that magical city, even if I knew this wasn't going to be a love story. And no, he was not my summer love. Not even close. Why? Well, he soon blocked me on Instagram. That was short, I know. He was just a stranger with a lovely smile and blue eyes. My summer love had hazelnut eyes that I could never forget. Hazelnut eyes that now are only a distant memory, fading like the summer sun, yet still haunting me in the quiet moments when I close my own.

And though I tried to bury that love deep within, there's one story I can never escape. The one I'm about to tell you now.