A Ray of Sunlight

Chapter 30 - Happy Birthday to Him (Haruto's POV)

This one is actually so sad wtf :CCC

Tomorrow is January 20th, father's birthday. I watch father lightly snore in bed and close the door. Almost a whole month had gone by just like that.

Nothing interesting really happened. Waking up, brushing teeth, going to work, avoiding Koichi in the locker room out of guilt and not knowing how to handle the situation of me running out from ashament, avoiding the upcomers in the hallway, avoiding the glare of the commanders in the hallway, still catching a glance of Mr Hiroshi side eyeing me, actual work, lunch, stirring around with the food, eating I guess, working some more, going home, sleep or do laundry, repeat. Everyday was the same. The same green locker room, the same center, the same routine, the same monsters, the same tingle of guilt every time I hear Koichi or another upcomer walking down the hallway. The same ashamed feeling I have towards myself. The same acceptance that I couldn't be better.

As I sat outside in the dim hallway waiting for the day to start, I thought about father's sadness and his dim eyes. He looks so disappointed. So different from before. I sigh. This is my fault, again. In that instance, the chain wrapped tighter and I felt like I could barely breathe. I should try fixing all of this instead of sitting here crying but how? I should try to solve father's issues about me first. Well it is his birthday, I should get him something but what?

I thought about all the possibilities. I don't think he would appreciate it if I threw a party. He would probably be sleeping the whole time. What did we do for my birthday when I was little?

I haven't celebrated my birthday in a while but I do remember that when it was that day, I would wake up to the smell of freshly cooked rice and fish. After school, father would take me to a bakery to buy a box of mochi and take me to the toy store after for me to pick a toy I like. We would go home and I would do my homework while he cooks. Then, we would have dinner together and always say we'll have mochi left for the next day but finish it.

I smile. Those days were quite nice, just me and him and him and me. No drama or anything like right now. Maybe I should make him something. Homemade stuff is always the best. Let me see what I can make. I don't know how to make mochi though. I heard from Kazuki that other cultures on Earth celebrate with cake. I know how to make cakes. As a matter of fact, I had gotten really good at piping and making it. I sigh. The problem is I don't have an oven. Wait, grandpa bakes. I think he has an oven!

I jumped up in joy, something I hadn't done in a long time. Yes! I can make a cake for father and when he sees the cake, he'll be less sad and we can fix everything from there! I quickly went to get my phone in my bedroom to call grandma. Before I did though, I looked at the jar that contained little paper cranes that I had folded and the paper cherry blossom Rin had given me on the day of the attack. Seeing that flower reminded me of Koichi's almost death. I picked up that cherry blossom and threw it on the floor.

I wasn't even close to 1000 cranes yet and had only folded 105. Maybe I can finish it by my birthday. I looked at my phone and then at the jar. Origami, cranes, wishes and hope. I can do this. I went into my contacts and pressed on grandma's phone number.

"Hi grandma!"

"Hi Haruto, you're up quite early today."

"Oh! I'm sorry, but can I ask a question?" I feel tingly all over.

"Sure, go ahead."

I smile harder. Grandma's so nice. "Can I use your oven? Father's birthday is tomorrow so I want to bake him a cake. He seems so sad, I'm sure that will make him feel better."

Grandma didn't respond immediately. For a second, I thought she would disagree but then she said, "Sure! I think that's a great idea. I'll ask your grandpa to help too!"