Don't leave

What do you want to be?

Again.. These thought's are killing me I can't concentrate.

-"Aiza it's your turn"

"Oh sorry what was the question again?"

-"what do you want to be when you grow up"

Dead
I hummed.

"Oh I don't know, maybe a lawyer?"

-"Sounds great, I'm sure u will be a great lawyer, class dismissed you can go to your next class now"

Am I too young for this?
No I'm 13, that's more than enough.

-"Aiza"

But what will happen after life?

-"Aiza, listen to me"

Oh shoot, I was overthinking again.

"Oh yeah we've got class let's go Aki"

-"Wait didn't you forget something?"

"What"

-"Girl, you think I didn't hear what u said?"

"Haha what are you talking about?"

Shit, I hope she didn't hear me humming about what I want to be when I grow up.

-"Girl don't worry, you could've just told me that you liked him too"

What the fuck? I don't like anyone?

"What do you mean? I don't like anybody"

-"When you were sleeping in class you were humming Ayman's name"

"Oh yeah, I just had a strange dream where he was walking around "

I was humming death, because in my dream the teacher asked what do it want to be when I grow up.. Wait a second.. I had this moment in my dream? Huh am I tripping...I'm sure she asked me that in real life and that was definitely not a dream. That was strange.

-"Aiza, you're so delusional"

"Yeah, haha"

I wonder why I even still continue living? Oh yeah, im scared of the afterlife.

And whats the reason I want to die right now? Oh right.... because I don't want to live in such a horrible world.. But what makes this world horrible? I guess we'll never know. Although wouldn't it be logical to fix this world instead of leaving this world? No I think.

"Nothing is impossible"

Said my dad.

Although it is impossible to hear his words again.

It hurts seeing all these people everyday smiling, while they're having hell as their lives.

While I'm walking here, there's people hungry right now, while I'm walking here, there are people getting raped, while Im walking here are people dying, while I'm walking here, there are people getting S/A'd.
And that's just 00.01% of the things happening on this world.
This world is just messed up.
Alright.

"I'm home"

-"Welcome honey"

I guess my birthday will never be remembered, same as my death.

Alright what assignments do I have today.

Killing myself? Sounds good but what way.

I don't know let's find out.

Ill just quickly write my goodbye letter.

Right, done! Sounds good

"Thanks mom for everything, I'm going for a quick walk"

To hell

Hmm let me see..

Jumping from a cliff sounds boring but still not that bad, let's try that.
*About to jump*
-"UH HEY!!! wanna cms together?"

"HUH DUDE WHAT THE FLIP"

-"uhm.. I mean, why not?"

"dude no, DONT ever do that, that's fucking messed up, i know ur struggling and all, but it's not worth it trust me."

-"Girl, are you..? Like I don't want to be mean or something but like, do you have a mental health issue? Like hallucinations?"

"Dude no"

-"SO WHY THE HELL ARE YOU TRYNA MAKE ME LIVE WHILE UR FREAKING STANDING ON THE EDGE URSELF!?"

"WHY RU ASKING ME THAT I DONT KNOW EITHER?"

-"Okay, let's make a deal, you don't kill yourself, and I don't kill myself, yeah?"

"I don't know, I don't want to live any longer"

-"WELL, NEITHER DO I?"

"no, u need to live I don't."

-" That doesn't make sense what's the difference between me and you? Just accept my offer girl."

"Uhm.. Mkay but I'm doing this only for you."

-"WELL THANK YOU FOR RESPECTING ME"

"What's ur name by the way?"

-"Karam"

"Nice"

What the fuck did I do right now? Oh my gosh did I just randomly open up to a stranger?

-" UHM HEY WAIT, eumm... What's ur name?"

oh right... The deal. Fuck why did I even accept this.

"Aiza."

Anyways it's late I gotta go home
"Dude bye, but don't commit suicide yet!"

-"Sure! But neither do you!"

I silently opened the door, my mom was sleeping, or atleast I thought.

"Hey umm.. mom what are you doing here it's late..?"

-"Well.. I wanted to clean your room and guess what I've found?"

SHIT SHIT SHIT NO PLEASE TELL ME YOU DIDNT READ THAT NOTE.

-"Happy birthday!"

"OH MY GOD I THOUGHT U FORGOT"

-" How could I ever forget your birthday, I love you!"

"I LOVE YOU TOO MOM"

I was really tired so after I opened the gift I went straight to sleep.