To Hell With It.

The Discovery

This book somewhat relates to my real life, and I just had to write it out in a delulu way so enjoy!!

Waking up knowing that you guy best friend who you might or not have feelings for best friend is your childhood crush that you never got over because he just never left your mind.

Not in any way am I using Francis my best friend to get to Dean I would never but there also is the fact that ever since I discovered that they have been friends since middle school a couple months ago I did tell him that I use to know him from elementary, but I never told him I've always had a crush on him and I have no idea why I honestly made it worse for myself cause I haven't stopped thinking about him yet I'm embarrassed on how I acted in middle school as we all are, he's always been cute but he's grown into a man looking thing and I just can't what is also worst is he went out with this girl I used to know and still do they didn't work out but ugh I just can't think straight cause I do want to him again but I'm not sure

The possibility of us hanging out is slim to none but there's always those scenarios I play out in my head me and Dean just clicking him seeing how much I've grown up how much "cooler" I am.

we were friends in elementary close in 4th grade because we sat next to each other a little talk here and there while in school then nothing past middle so his idea of me is pretty bad I believe

I snapped out of my morning monologue when I realize I have to get ready for my college class I yawn groan and get out of bed fixing my curly hair doing my make up and getting dressed I take my time listening to music and a podcast during the time it takes me to get ready my phone dings and its Francis telling me he will be at my house in 15 I put on a white long sleeve some light washed jeans that are kind of baggy and this cute black jacket I just bought as well some regular black boots that give me height

Francis has a motorcycle and as my car broke down for the 50th fucking time he offered to give me a ride as he doesn't work till later so as he pulls up to my house revving so I know he is here , I grab my backpack my keys and wallet preparing in my head everything I have to deal with, I've been on his bike a couple times so I'm no stranger to how it works as I walk out his helmet is already off his black hair falls into his face and his go-t that I convinced him to grow out which he finally listened is becoming more bold, as we both are appreciating the colder weather in California since it gets further into fall I walk up to him after locking my house doors staring at my dead beat of a car

"Good morning you look really tired sleepy head" grinning as I say it, truth be told he never really wakes up early even though its 9:45 my class starts at 10 I live close to the community college he is doing me a huge favor giving me a ride

"hey, get your helmet on and you know I don't wake up this early so don't even - also you look good'' looking me up and down I hate when he does this I know he is only teasing me but still

"I know I know I apologize and thank you" rolling my eyes, I grab the helmet putting it on hesitantly cause of my curly hair, I put the pegs of the bike back seat down letting him know I'm ready to get on he make sure the bike is balanced placing one foot on the peg and swinging my leg over to get my foot on the other peg I lean close to him putting my hands on the tank and tapping and we were off he doesn't really speed with me cause he gets scared but when he first got the bike he did and that was so fun it felt so I don't know normal? I loved it but since he's gained a conscience he stopped speeding with me.

the ride to the school is quick but fun I do like riding on the bike I point to where I want him to drop me off close to my class building and some people are staring at us I wonder why