chapter 1. trauma bonding

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something was wrong. farjaad didn’t exactly know what, but he was sure that something has happened which has made the brightest star in his life put a pause on the beam towards him. he just didn’t know what was it that he did, that made Umeed so upset, that she has not replied to any of his texts the whole weekend, and is not even attending any of his phone calls. He tried talking to her when he called Pasha sahib, but he got too nervous to ask his fiancé’s father to give her the phone. He called Haya but she seems to know why Umeed didn't want to talk to him, so ofcourse, she’s team Umeed no matter what. Sameer was busy for the weekend, farjaad knew, so he didn’t bother. While on his way back, he was really nervous about his anxiety regarding Umeed, so he went straight to Pasha House before going home. It was 10pm. He didn’t know what he’s going to tell Pasha sahIb regarding his urgent visit, but he knew it was important. Farjaad had left for Islamabad for his summit on Thursday, scheduled to be back to Karachi on Saturday but because of an issue, the final workshop got delayed, which meant he cannot leave before Sunday. the last time he talked to Umeed was about these quick change of plans, and that made Umeed sound a bit off, but since farjaad couldn't figure that out why, he felt it was probably nothing, just something in his head. And also because Umeed is not the kind of girl who would have an issue with something that wasn’t in Farjaad’s control regarding work. He messaged Haya to open the back door for him, which would give him and Umeed the privacy they required to talk things out before meeting the family, and once things would be sorted out with Umeed, he knew she’d make up a story in front of Pasha sahib, which would eventually save his ass. Farjaad was waiting for Umeed in the back lawn when he saw Haya, physically dragging Umeed towards the lawn which made Farjaad’s already nervous heart more anxious. Farjaad stood up, and in a polite manner, he said his salam to Haya, who left right after saying her salam, which confirmed that Farjaad has done something wrong. He looked at Umeed, who wasn’t looking at him and didn’t seem to be in the mood to talk either, but he knew the conversation was important. Whatever he has done, he can fix it.

Farjaad: Kya howa hai?

Umeed: Kuch nahi. Umeed said while making that face which Farjaad recognise only comes when she's definitely pissed about something.

Farjaad: Tu phir why are you doing this to me? Essa Maine kya kardiya hai kay you didn’t want to talk to me since I told you Im coming on Sunday?

Umeed: Apko pata hai ajj kya date hai? Umeed acquired, feeling he will realize now.

Farjaad: 7th January?

Umeed: aur?

Farjaad: aur? Aur kya? Dhekho I know I didn’t forget our anniversary, we have it on 15th April, and your birthday isn’t until 10th August, what am I missing?”

Farjaad was getting a little restless because he knew these dates were important, and he knew he can never forget them, but how did he manage to still screw up?

Umeed: theek hai theek hai, shahid ajj ki date itni bhi important ne hai. Mein apko batate hou, likin gussa tu na karrein.

Umeed is realizing that maybe she did go overboard with the silent treatment.

Farjaad: Gussa ne kar raha, pouch raha hou. I need to know. Because I have thought of every possible thing that I would’ve done which would have resulted in this behavior from you and Umeed, I couldn’t find any, so I deserve to know.

Now Umeed was freaking out because for her, her reason was enough to restrain her from communicating that she was hurt, but it was moments like these when she realized that her ways of dealing with a conflict were too immature for an adult, and things are going to backfire now and its Umeed who is at fault this time.

Umeed: okay okay, you probably don’t remember, God this is so embarrassing' umeed thinks in her head but continues '..of course you don’t remember, which is okay but, last year ajj kay din main apko phone dene kay liye apkay office ae thei, aur apnay meray se jhoot bola tha kay lift kharab hai. This probably isn’t that big of a deal for you, likin meray liye it was a sign that my feelings were maybe reciprocated. I had this massive crush on you, likin ap itnay turaam khan bantay thay meray samnay, kay I figured its not worth it. It was that day jab mujhe laga kay maybe, its not just me, and this, whatever we had at that time, might be mutual. And when you told me about the change of plans, mujhe hit howa kay you don’t remember that day, which now that I come to think about it, wasn’t as special to you as it was to me, and what I did was extremely immature. Im sorry.

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