I'm slowly consuming my own pitiful soul.
I feel lonely, a loneliness that consumes the bones that hold together the body I carry. For I have no one and at the same time I do. Its such contradiction that makes me feel even more desolated.
I beg and plead for an attention that is not my own, for that him is who it belongs to, to the things his beautiful shining eyes are enchanted in and the beings his fascinating brain feels warm with. I like to think, in an hedonistic way, that I am one of thous persons, one of thous marvelous things. And to the happiness of my vain mind, he assures me i am. It fills my slowly consuming being with love.
I love him.
But my egoistic pleads for the attention that makes me feel so full, so warm, aren't always corresponded. For his addicting attention isn't mine. Such beautiful thing shouldn't be. With nothing, I shall consume myself, loneliness eats this brain I call my own.
Im clouded by desperation , I crave him, need him. Regardless of it, he is his. I am aware of such. Rationality makes me sour, and at the same time makes me unable to beg for him. I cant blame nothing but my own self in this, for such thoughts would only darken his precious heart. As egoistic as I am, I couldn't tolerate tainting him with such vain feelings. For I love him.
Regardless I will continue craving for this contradictorily need of attention.
I was born human, I'm made to crave the recognition of another.
I shall eat this pathetic feelings that consume me. For I love him.
