Scarlett + Y/n

Chapter 10

Scarletts pov
Being apart from Em whilst she's in Afghanistan is an ache that never goes away. Now that she's in my life, the love I have for her is never going to go away. Everyday is long and every morning I find myself reaching out to the bed beside me hoping to feel her. But she's never there.

During the day, I fill my time with work and friends, but there’s always a sense of longing. I often find myself in our favorite spots—the café where we spent lazy afternoons, the park where we’d laugh and dream. Each place brings back memories that make me smile, yet they also make me miss her more.

At night, the silence in my home feels heavy. I scroll through old photos, each image a reminder of happier times. I can almost hear her laughter and feel the warmth of her hand in mine. Sometimes, I write letters I never send, pouring out my feelings and sharing the little things I miss about her—her smile, her playful teasing, the way she curls her hair around her finger when she’s deep in thought. Lizzie tell me she'll be back before we know it but we both know she's saying it to make us both feel better.

I have phoned her a couple of times and a few times she answers. Not all the time but some. Hearing her voice gives me hope she'll come home alive and not in a box. It's getting harder without her here, it's taking its toll. I just can't wait until this is all over.

I make myself a coffee and stand Infront of the window letting the soft morning light shine on my back. Rose is doodling in her colouring book and I'm drinking my coffee, a typical Saturday morning. Em hasn't stayed with me when Rose has been home but it feels like she's missing, something's missing. Toys are scattered across every room from last night's play, I was too exhausted to tidy them last night and just had to cry myself to sleep.

"Mommy look!" Rose exclaims holding up her book with the printed dogs scribbled in different colours "wow! That's amazing" I reply smiling trying to distract myself.  My phone rings and I scrambled across the kitchen to grab it before it ends, it's not Em, it's Lizzie. I should have remembered, she said she wasn't going to call. I hold it to my ear and step out into the garden "hello" I say and sit on the step "Hey, it's me. I phoned to see how your doing" I smile looking down my garden "uh well you know. Just trying to distract myself and make this whole thing end faster" I explain truthfully. Lizzie hums from the other end "I know what that feels like. You will always miss her and think the worst but Em always finds her way back to us and now your in her life, I bet she'll try twice as hard" tears fill my eyes "I just miss her so much. The worst scenarios keep finding their way back, however hard I try to keep them away" I explain sobbing "I know it's really hard but Emily would want us to be happy and not think about what could happen. Would you like to meet me for a coffee tomorrow?" I wipe my eyes "uh yeah, thank you" "no problem" I smile "you sound so much like her Lizzie" "everyone says that" she laughs making me choke out a small one too "I uh..told my mom about my relationship. I told Em I wanted to keep it a secret but now i fell bad" "I'm sure she won't mind. Em told me and you told your mom so that's one person each. I haven't told anyone and your mom probably won't either so it's still a secret" "I guess".

I'm sitting at the table with Rose helping her fill in her other colouring book Em gave her before she left. "Mommy can we get ice-cream tomorrow?' I smile softly and kiss the top of her head "of course we can and then I'll take your to daddy's" she smiles and goes back to the colouring. My phone beeps and I look out the corner of my eye to the the words Em🌺. I grab it quickly and use my face to look at the full message

Hey, it's Em. I wanted to check in. Miss you so much.  How are you?

I smile despite the loneliness that clung to me. Quickly, I typed a response

Hey, it's Em. I wanted to check in. Miss you so much.  How are you?

Miss you too! Just trying to keep myself busy aswell  as work. Wish you were here. Can't wait to hear your voice xx

After pressing send I turn back to the colouring book and pick up a green pencil and continue the character I was colouring before. Rose pauses to drink her apple juice but then carries on. As I colour in my Army soldier, our last-night talks and quiet moments replay in my head. Every laugh, every gentle touch.

Suddenly my phone buzzed again and I leaned forward eagily.

Can you phone me tonight?

My heart soared and I replied. Confirming the time. Anticipation grew inside me the whole day as I wait for the call. Em gave me the SAT phone but I haven't used it, I'm too frightened she won't answer and therefore think the worst.

The time finally arrived and I hold the phone to my ear. One ring, two ring. I note my nails anxiously. "Hey" she says and I take a deep breath "Em. It that you?" "Yes it's me. Who else would it be?" She laughs as tears flow down my cheek. "Scarlett are you crying?" "No" I croak wipeing my eyes and nose "don't lie to me, I can hear you crying. What's wrong?" "I'm just glad to hear your voice. I miss you so much" "I miss you too but I'll be home before you know it" "promise" "Scarlett you know I can't promi-" "Em promise me" "I can't but I'll try the best I can. I promise you that. How are things?" "Lonely and quiet. Just working and waiting news from you. How's everything your end?' I ask worrying about her safety "it's intense but we're managing. The team great and we've had some good days" she replies but I can hear the underlying tension in her voice. "I wish I could be there with you" I tell her truthfully "you don't, trust me. It's sandy, dirty, scary and cold. Very unglamorous. Keep me updated on everything that's happening at home. It helps" "I will. Just promise to take care of yourself" I say and hear a hint of worrying in my voice "I promise. Just a few more months and I'll be back" I smile slightly "I'm counting the days. Feels like I'm counting the hours now aswell".

We talk for a bit longer sharing stories and laughter but as the conversation winds down, I start to feel the familiar ache of longing. "It's really late here, I should go to bed. I'm in my sleeping bag, it's really cold. I love you" "I love you too Em. Stay safe and stay warm" I reply wishing I could reach my hand through the phone and hold her. As she hangs up, I wish she was still there and talking to me. That way I know she's still safe, still talking,  still alive.