Love of a mask

The last day of a mundane routine

After that parting conversation with Charvi, I headed home, lost in my thoughts throughout the walk. I find comfort in my thoughts. Makes me feel less paranoid.

Weird, isn't it?

But I don't find it weird, rather I find it as an ability to take pride in. Being able to have your thoughts to yourself, and to think without feeling ashamed is a skill that many people lack in today's world. Some find it so difficult to admit to themselves their own thoughts, they find it weird, and disgusting. Some even tend to use their second language as a means to escape from reality to better understand themselves. Some oftentimes even start thinking in their second language.

I don't need to know that. That's why, I deem myself to be superior to most when it comes to a better understanding of oneself.

After a few more steps and some unnecessary philosophizing, I reached my home. A two-story house with a slightly fancy garden. Butterflies fly freely over the flowers in my garden as the sunlight helps them achieve a glow fancier than the most renowned light shows throughout the world.

I took a key out of my backpack and unlocked the door. I entered quietly and didn't bother to let out a noise to let anyone know I was home as nobody was waiting for me in the house.

My father was out working and he usually arrives late at night, that is, if he arrives. He doesn't do a lot of times. My family has... no had 4 members: My dad, my mom, my elder brother, and me. However, after an incident that I was too young to remember, my brother passed away.

After his passing, my parents got in a lot of fights, which again, I was too young to remember the reason for. After that my parents got divorced and my mother now lives separately. I used to visit her twice a month, but since I'm in high school now, time is more expensive than gold, so I barely visit anymore.

If I was asked which one of my parents I was the closest to, the answer would be none.

I went to my bedroom on the second floor where I changed into some casual clothes. I went down and walked over to the kitchen where I made a bland oatmeal for myself with peanut butter and some dry fruits. After that, I continued the novel I was reading for the next 45 minutes and managed to finish it.

"9 out of 10," I rated the novel out loud to no one but myself.

After that, I grabbed my gym bag from my room and started walking to the gym I had joined 7 months ago. No one knew I had joined a gym from my school, or my family. Although I may not look like it in my school uniform, I had put on a lot of muscle while maintaining a low body fat percentage giving me a physique that would be suitable for anyone with a handsome face who wants to play a charismatic playboy.

Not me though. I can't be anything other than a loser no matter how much self-improvement I indulge in or how much better I become in the eyes of others.

I always work alone, only asking someone for help in case I need a spot. I hit my chest and triceps today. In the middle of my sets, I got a glimpse at today's date on my phone and remembered that it was my birthday today and how I'd forgotten to mention my birthday to Chavi.

Would she have given me a kiss if I asked for it as a gift?

No, I'll probably get a punch instead.

I also got PTSD about the bumps I'd received at school today, making me frown while also giving me motivation to push myself harder in the gym.

My thoughts went back to my birthday as I tried to remember the last time I had celebrated. After a few minutes of searching for the memory, I remembered it was back in 4th grade when I had gone to my mom's place.