Pure sadness

"I love you"

When I was born, my parents believed that a curse was born with me, but how could a nice woman's billy give birth to a curse? It's just all about the things that happened in the world the day I was born while we were still in the hospital. I won't say that I don't feel like I have a hand in them, due to keep being called that I was the problem.

Our president was killed, and the country went wild on the very first day of my life on earth. People were very happy, yet very sad and worried, as none will follow the police words because they're not coming from a "president". I lived in that environment for three years running from a place to another to hide with my parents. When the boats were finally available to carry people, I went overseas with my parents, and it was quite impossible to find a place to stay as well as a job to pay for a place to stay, food and water.

Few days after we arrived at the new city, which I didn't know its name, my father found a job, but he was selfish and kept most of the money for himself to go to the bars at night. My mum was working too, and I was "old enough to be left alone", so I had to find anything to entertain myself until my mum comes home, because my dad is barely with us. On my 5th birthday my mum found out that my dad was cheating on her, so she poisoned him and went to the jail while I was left in an adoption centre.

Just a year after I was adopted by an old couple who weren't able to have babies for long time. They heard my story, and a sense of empathy filled their hearts, but it also filled mine because they had to deal with me. The centre told them about stuff that happened after I went to the centre, such as kids choking and a field of rats coming out of nowhere, bees attack, food was getting rot easily and the flowers kept dying even with all the care they gave. The old couple didn't care, but when I went to their house, they understood what the centre meant. I never try to do anything, bad things just happen to me, and I can't stop them from happening. A week went well but my "curse" started on the second week. Weird voices were heard, and both of the couple weren't sure if it's because of their age or is it really just me. On the third week their house was burnt, and both were sent to the ER with big burns and a trauma, and I was sent back to the adoption centre.

It kept happening, every family that has ever adopted me regretted their choice, and yes, because I was the curse, the problem, the worst, miserable and worthless. After 5 families adoptions I was still 11, but none wanted me anymore, not even the centre but they were forced to keep me there, because it's their job in this weird city. Later, the city had a big fight with another city inside the same country, and me and other kids were sent to another country with some staff, just in case something happens to the whole country. Luckily, once "I" left, everyone was safe, and the fight immediately stopped. We stayed in... Germany. Now I know the name of the country I'm in.

I stayed in the adoption centre in Germany for the past years of my life. Since I'm older now, I was able to go out by myself and work, but it was completely hard to find a job as an orphan 15-year-old girl. I kept searching. Days, weeks and even months. Until I was united with a German man, and he found me a job in his father's Café. I kept working there and increasing my costumer service skills, and I started learning how to make different type of coffee, and then learned how to bake sweet bread. As always, good things never last with me. The Café was destroyed on a random Sunday night by some people who fought before with Peter, the German guy who found me the job. The Café was gone but not our friendship. We still hanged out a lot to different places, and even though I wasn't able to speak, since I never had the right to, we still had a great time. He made me laugh a lot and smile, he even made me feel something I've never felt before. Safe. Loved... He never argued with me when I mess up, and even when things go wrong while I'm around, he never called me "the problem".

I fell for him. I know my feelings aren't just "friendly". It felt like a story, a story about a princess who loved a prince but was too scared to confess, and I'm not sure if I was the princess in his story but DAMN sure he was the prince of mine. We were best friends for two years, and everything was going well with me. Until one week before my 18th birthday, when I was about to tell Peter about it.

"Peter..." I'm quite nervous. I know he won't think the same way I am thinking of. Like what is it? Marriage age?? Does he even care? I kept thinking about that until I hear it, his voice. "Maddie? Are you there?? MADDIE!!" he says loudly making everyone in the park looking at us. "Uhh... sorry, anyways... what I was about to say is.." I looked down while he's looking at me with excitement. "Is...?" he tolts his head. "After a week.. It'll be my 18th birthday". Before he says a word, two children are dead beside us. Their blood is everywhere, and it smells heavy on my sensitive nose. Peter screams "MOVE MOVE!" as he holds my hand and runs away with me. We're running back to the centre as it's the closest place to us, but somehow what we see is worse. Everyone is dead uglily and their bodies are thrown everywhere. I can't handle that and I'm losing my vision. My knees are too weak, and I can't stand. Peter panics and holds me into his arms as he's running to his place, and that is the last thing I can see before I pass out.

When I wake up, I'm in Peter's car. He gives me a glance "You're finally awake!" "What happened??". He looks at the road again "We're leaving". I panic again "OMG!.. Wait, where are we going?". "I don't even know, it's just not safe to stay there". "What about your family?", he points at a car in front of us "All are safe, but I'm not sure about yours..." he says with grieve. "They were never a family for me, but.. you always are" he doesn't understand what I mean, but he still smiles. We're leaving Germany and going to Denmark to take a plane to Canada. More families were leaving with us, but what I know will happen, happens. Germany is somehow safe to go back there, but we made the decision. Car drive to a crowded train, crowded train to more crowded roads, to less crowded roads and then to an empty flight.

We're now in Canada, but Peter's parents want to go back to Germany, since it's safe now. Peter and I will still be in Canada and "enjoy" our lives here. When it's time to leave his parents, I look at him and then look back down at the ground. I run and run and he runs after me, I'm out of breath but still running. "Why??" Peter screams, also out of breath. I cry and keep running to a high building, and we get together into the elevator as it's going to the rooftop. He begins talking "What are you doing?". I cry and sob, not answering. "ANSWER ME!" he's angry now. The elevator reaches the rooftop, and whilst it's opening, I run again, but he stops me, holding my hand. "LEAVE ME" it's his first time hearing me screaming, but he's still holding me, and I'm trying to make him let me go. When he finally does, I run to the bridge. "Even you think I'm the problem, don't you?" I sob while talking as I stand on the bridge. Before he says a word, I cut his speech "you can't say you never did, you don't even want us to go back with your family so they can stay safe!!". He's quite far so I'm screaming. He screamed back "no-". "I've always loved you, you made me feel stuff no one else could, but I can't live with the guilt, because even my best friend and the love of my life thinks I'm a monster too". I stay quiet waiting for some answer, but I get non. "You can't say otherwise, you can't even say a word..." and before he says a word, I throw myself off the building.

I see him coming after me "I love you-".

They both ended their lives, with love. Now the world is quiet, happy and... peaceful.

The end.