The Not a Thinker

A Man of Action

   He sat bent forward on his rock, one fist resting underneath his chin, the elbow on his knee. He had been sitting in this position for days now. His massive naked hulk shifted the slightest with his breaths, the only indication that he was a living man and not a statue.

   His posture suggested that he was deep in thought. Neither the cold, biting wind against his exposed skin nor the bothersome mosquitoes feasting on his blood could move him.

   One would assume that he was thinking deep philosophical thoughts or otherwise something profound.

   This was not the case.

   He prided himself on being a man of action and was not one to sit around and discuss ideas, like those old men who could talk for days about whether falling trees make a sound if no one is around to hear it.

   In fact, it was drink that forever labelled him what he dreaded to be. He had been celebrating his latest conquest in improving the world (involving an ax, three chickens, and a jar of olive oil) with several glasses of fine wine. In his intoxicated state, he had lost a valuable gold coin. His frantic search for it resulted in him looking everywhere (which may explain why he was naked). He had perched upon a rock and scanned the soil with his drunken eyes for the coin. It was the last of his wealth and he was determined to find it.

  Four days later and having not yet finding the coin, the thought of having to sell his beloved valuable collection of mini guillotines proved too much for this man of action and his weak heart gave out. Only his fist underneath his chin kept him from pitching forward.

   Somewhere up in the heavens, Hermes, the god of travelers and tricksters, saw the irony in this situation and preserved the man in bronze, despite much eye-rolling from his fellow gods.

  

   He sat bent forward on his rock, one fist resting underneath his chin, the elbow on his knee. He had been sitting in this position for decades now. His massive naked hulk was frozen, an obvious indication that he was a statue and not a living man.

  Tourists swarmed around him, snapping pictures and the description that accompanied him. He was a statue commissioned in 1880 France, it said, to represent the power of thought.

   He was the physical representation of philosophy, raved art historians.

   The man of action was now and forever branded Le Penseur. The Thinker.