A Place to Belong - A Woosan Novel

{11 - Adventures & Confessions}

The following weekend Wooyoung had suggested they go on a little excursion out of the city. They had rented a car and headed out on the open road.

As they left the city, they passed the time with light conversation, Wooyung singing his heart out to BTS, and some of the classics. The afternoon light filtered through the thin veil of clouds as Wooyoung steered the car down the quiet country road. San sat beside him, his fingers loosely intertwined with Wooyoung's as the scenery blurred by outside the window. The day was full of promise.

San was excited for the adventure, "A change of pace," Wooyoung had called it with a grin. "I think we deserve it."

San had been hesitant at first, as he often was when it came to anything that felt new or outside his comfort zone. But the idea of spending an entire day with Wooyoung, away from distractions and expectations, had been too tempting to resist.

Now, as they drove further into the countryside, the open road stretched out before them, San felt a surprising sense of calm. There was something about being in motion—about the quiet hum of the car and the endless horizon—that made it easier to breathe, easier to think.

"Hey, you okay?" Wooyoung's voice broke the silence, soft but filled with concern.

San smiled, turning to glance at him. "Yeah. I'm good."

Wooyoung gave his hand a gentle squeeze, his thumb brushing over San's knuckles in a gesture that was both comforting and grounding. "I'm glad," he said, his eyes flicking back to the road. "I thought it might be nice to get away for a bit. No pressure, just us."

San nodded, appreciating how Wooyoung always seemed to know when he needed space, when he needed to escape the weight of everything. He didn't push, didn't demand more than San was willing to give, and that made all the difference.

They drove in comfortable silence for a while, the countryside opening up around them with rolling hills and patches of wildflowers dotting the landscape. It was peaceful here, far removed from the noise and rush of the city, and San found himself relaxing more with each passing mile.

After about an hour, Wooyoung pulled off the main road and onto a smaller, winding path that led to a secluded lake surrounded by tall trees. The water shimmered in the morning light, the surface calm and inviting, and San felt a sense of awe at the beauty of it all.

"This is incredible," San murmured as Wooyoung parked the car and they stepped out onto the soft grass. The air was crisp, the scent of pine and fresh water filling his lungs, and for the first time in what felt like ages, San felt truly at peace.

Wooyoung grinned, clearly pleased with San's reaction. "I thought you'd like it. I used to come here all the time when I needed to clear my head."

San nodded, taking in the serene view, his heart swelling with gratitude for the thoughtfulness Wooyoung always showed him. They wandered down to the edge of the lake, the water lapping gently against the shore, and sat side by side on a large rock, their legs dangling just above the surface.

For a while, they simply enjoyed the quiet, the gentle rustle of leaves and the occasional bird call, the only sounds breaking the stillness. But as the minutes ticked by, San could feel something stirring inside him—something he had been holding back for too long.

He glanced at Wooyoung, who was gazing out at the lake with a soft, contented expression. San's chest tightened with the familiar mix of affection and fear that always seemed to accompany thoughts of his past. He had shared bits and pieces of his story with Wooyoung over the weeks, but there were still parts of him that remained locked away, too painful to confront.

But now, sitting here in the calm embrace of nature, with Wooyoung by his side, San felt ready—ready to let go of some of that weight. Ready to open up, even if it dragged up the past hurt.

"Wooyoung," San began, his voice quiet but steady. "There's something I haven't really told you yet. About my ex."

Wooyoung turned to him, his expression immediately softening with concern and understanding. "You don't have to tell me if you're not ready," he said gently. "But if you want to, I'm here. I'll always listen."

San took a deep breath, his fingers gripping the edge of the rock as he gathered his thoughts. He had carried this story with him for so long, and now, with Wooyoung's quiet encouragement, he felt like he could finally let it out.

"He wasn't just unfaithful," San said, his voice trembling slightly as the words began to spill out. "It wasn't just about the cheating. It was... everything. He made me feel like I wasn't enough, like I was always doing something wrong. I was always trying to be what he wanted, always changing myself to fit what he needed, but no matter what I did, it was never enough. I used to be really confident, I felt good about myself, he systematically tore me down. It was subtle at first, you know? It was a side comment here, or there. Eventually, it was more blatant, and all the time." San rushed through his words, trying to get it all out before he let the tears welling up in his eyes escape.

"He knew I was usually the top in my relationships prior to him, but he decided I should be a switch, and I agreed, for him. I wanted to make him happy. I wanted to be what he wanted."

Wooyoung's hand found San's, squeezing it tightly as he listened, his expression a mix of empathy and quiet anger. "San, I'm so sorry," Wooyoung murmured, his voice thick with emotion. "You didn't deserve that. You deserve so much more."

San shook his head, his eyes stinging with unshed tears. "I know that now. But back then... I didn't. I thought it was my fault. I thought I wasn't good enough, I didn't satisfy him or make him happy, and that's why he treated me the way he did."

Wooyoung's grip on San's hand tightened, his thumb brushing soothing circles over the back of San's hand. "You were more than enough, San. He just didn't see it. He didn't deserve you."

San swallowed hard, the pain of those memories still fresh, even after all this time. "I thought I could fix it, you know? I thought if I just tried harder, if I just gave more of myself, it would be okay. But it wasn't. It got worse, and eventually... I just couldn't do it anymore.

The final straw was when I came home and he was having sex with our neighbor, someone I thought was a friend. He didn't even care that I saw them together. Instead he tried to make me feel badly that I wasn't giving him what he needed. It hurt me so badly, but in that moment something just cracked in me, I couldn't keep staying there anymore. So I left."

The words hung in the air, heavy and raw, and for a moment, San felt the weight of them settle over him like a storm cloud. But then, as Wooyoung's hand gently pulled him closer, the storm began to lift.

"You're so brave," Wooyoung whispered, his voice thick with emotion. "You're so damn brave for walking away, for choosing yourself. I know it wasn't easy, but... I'm so proud of you."

San's heart swelled at Wooyoung's words, the warmth of his voice soothing the old wounds that had been left to fester for too long. He leaned into Wooyoung's touch, resting his head on his shoulder as the tension in his chest began to ease.

"I'm trying," San said softly, his voice barely above a whisper. "I'm trying to trust again. To believe that not everyone will hurt me."

Wooyoung turned his head, pressing a gentle kiss to the top of San's head. "You can trust me," he whispered, his voice full of quiet conviction. "I won't hurt you, San. I promise."

San closed his eyes, letting the warmth of Wooyoung's words wash over him, he wanted to believe him, and maybe he did.