∗ ࣪ ˖༺ violent delights ༻˖ ࣪ ∗

show me how you're proud

we shuffled through cabinets, on and off the phone with everyone, each call more critical than the last. my phone rang, and a cough escaped my mouth before i answered it. dr. kimura glanced over at me but turned back to her cabinet, focusing on her search. i slid the green bar and spoke into the phone.

"hello?" i asked, not yet knowing who it was. "how you doing in there, amore mio?" rossi's familiar voice came through. "i've seen better days." i replied, wiping the sweat dripping from my forehead. "you've got me and garcia." rossi said, the weight of his concern evident.

"hey, maddy." garcia chimed in. i felt a surge of warmth; i hadn't even properly met her this morning before being pulled into this ordeal, yet her kindness felt like a lifeline. a couple of coughs built up in my throat before i could respond. "madelyn, listen, we don't think the partner was a co-worker. can you tell us anything else about him?" rossi asked.

frustration bubbled up inside me. "i told you everything, i've been through everything..." i stammered. "come on, now, i know you're not thinking straight, but the madelyn i know wouldn't stop looking." rossi encouraged, and something clicked in my head.

i jumped over to dr. nichols' desk, rifling through the papers and photographs scattered across the surface. "i see a framed photo of dr. nichols teaching. i see a binder with syllabi and course assignments going back to the eighties." i explained, flipping through the pages. "okay, so he kept a scrapbook of himself as a professor. what does that tell us?" rossi asked.

"that he values himself as an educator—a teacher." i said, jogging across the room, my mind racing. "i saw something earlier, but i didn't make the connection. he has a study on anthrax; it's formatted like a thesis. there are notes in the margins written in red ink, like a teacher grading a paper. nichols wouldn't have just let any regular joe in here, but he may have opened it for educational purposes." i explained, flipping through papers stapled together.

"so the partner would've appealed to him as a student. nichols is helping him with his thesis," rossi concluded. "i can look up local phd students," garcia offered softly. "yeah, check the sciences—biochemistry, microbiology." i instructed. "okay, i'm cross-referencing, and—nothing, my doves." she sighed. "listen to this," i said, my heart racing. "'this country is woefully unprepared. every household should have a two-month supply of cipro. hospitals need biosafety level four decontamination wings.' it's exactly what nichols said on the tape. the partner's adapted nichols's view as his own."

i took a deep breath, trying to steady my racing heart as i continued, "the chapters are on setting up triage and mobile emergency rooms. i don't think this paper was written by a science student. it's about city preparedness and response." my head began to throb, sweat pooling at my temples, and my chest felt heavy. "okay, i'm checking for students in the social studies. hot to trot—there's a chad brown school of public policy at u of m. matches a chad brown, former employee at the book front." garcia reported, her tone brightening.

"that's gotta be him." i said, excitement bubbling in my chest. "definitely." rossi agreed. "he's been in the doctorate program on and off for five years, no steady job, slapped with a restraining order from his former girlfriend, and has been arrested twice at protest rallies in d.c. i'll tell hotch." garcia said, concluding her end of the call.

"tesoro, you did great work, but get out of there." rossi urged. "bye." i said, hanging up the phone, relief washing over me for the moment. "agent mortier? we were told the cure would be somewhere we wouldn't expect. what about nichols's inhaler?" dr. kimura suggested, and i nodded, my worry starting to fade.

men in suits began to fill in, securing the building and quickly dragging me out to the portable showers. i coughed all the way, the clean air burning my throat. cold water sprayed over me, drenching my clothes. "they're checking out brown's house." hotchner said, watching me through the plastic wall. "go help, i'm good here." i insisted, shivering from the cold.

"they have plenty of people." hotchner replied firmly. "they need you more than i do." i shot back, the cold water trickling down my back. "agent, i'm going to see you off to the hospital, that's an order." hotchner said, his voice stern.

i chuckled slightly, wincing at the cold water soaking my clothes. "i'm about to get naked so they can scrub me down. is that something you really wanna be here for, sir?" i asked, a teasing grin spreading across my face, despite the situation. "i'll check on you later, take care of her, please." hotchner said before stepping away. i chuckled again and began to unbutton my shirt.

my vision started to blur as they scrubbed me down, the cold water contrasting sharply with the warmth of my rising fever. i stumbled a bit while putting on dry clothes, and one medic caught my arm to steady me. "are you alright, agent?" one of them asked, concern etched on his face.

"i don't think so." i mumbled as they placed me on a stretcher, the world tilting beneath me. the sirens blared, and the ambulance took off, flying down the highway. my coughing escalated, each breath feeling like a struggle. "how are you doing, mortier?" dr. kimura asked, checking my chest with a stethoscope.

"my throat's dry, and my head is spinning. other than that, i feel..." i trailed off, my words twisting together as fatigue wrapped around me like a heavy blanket. i looked up at dr. kimura, who was staring down at me with clear worry in her eyes. I tried to articulate my thoughts, but they slipped away, coming out as incoherent mumbles. "i feel..." i attempted again, trying to speak slowly, but it was as if my mouth had forgotten how to cooperate.

"okay, you're doing okay. drive faster!" dr. kimura shouted to the paramedic, urgency lacing her voice. a tear fell from my eye, frustration and fear mixing. i reached up to wipe it away, but as i did, i felt a warmth spreading in my mouth. i brought my hand to my lips, feeling the slickness of blood trickling out. panic clawed at my chest as darkness began to creep in, swallowing me whole.

the last thing i remembered was dr. kimura's frantic voice echoed in the distance, a blend of commands and encouragement that faded as the world around me dissolved into a void. hours passed, and i slowly regained consciousness in a stark white room. the persistent beeping of machines echoed through my head, pulling me back to reality. i squinted, my eyes hurting as they adjusted to the light, and noticed rossi sitting beside me, engrossed in a book and spooning jello into his mouth.

"are you eating jello?" i mumbled, my voice raspy and barely audible. "hey, look who's back!" rossi replied, a warm smile spreading across his face as he set his book down. "is there any more jello?" i asked, feeling loopy and oddly hungry. just then, dr. kimura walked in, her bright smile instantly lifting the atmosphere in the room. "hey, not so fast." she said, her tone playful as I attempted to sit up. "what happened?" i asked, still disoriented.

"you had inflamed tissue in your throat. it required emergency surgery to remove the infected tissues, but you'll make a full recovery." she explained, her voice soothing. "on my first day, too? do i get an award for that?" i teased, eyeing rossi's jello as my stomach gurgled in response. rossi chuckled, and dr. kimura laughed along. "what about brown?" i asked, my concern rising as i thought about the case. "we got him, it's over." rossi reassured me, squeezing my hand gently.

"how are the other patients?" i asked, still struggling to piece everything together. "they are all on the mend. your team was right about where to look for the cure." dr. kimura explained, her expression proud. "why was he making anthrax, to begin with?" i questioned, the fog in my mind beginning to clear. "he was a brilliant scientist downgraded to working on the flu. brown came along asking for help on a thesis, and he was more than happy to share his knowledge. there was no indication nichols knew what brown was planning." rossi detailed, but i struggled to keep up with the complexity of it all.

"the strain and its cure are getting locked up at fort detrick, along with all the other bio-agents people don't know about." dr. kimura added, a hint of concern lining her brow. "really? i wonder what else they have locked up in there." rossi mused, curiosity sparking in his eyes as he glanced at me. i smiled weakly, feeling a mix of relief and lingering confusion.