So High School

This is me trying

A/N timt is MY song no one gets it like I do

TW

"You okay Tay?" Travis asked, looking up from his laptop.
"Hm?" Taylor turned around, looking to Travis questioningly.
"Are you okay? You were zoned out over there" Travis smiled up at her, concern evident in his eyes.
"Oh, um, yeah. This plate... Dishwasher... Needs to... Yeah" She scratched her head, having lost her train of thought as she continued loading the dishwasher.
"You sure?" Travis was still watching her worriedly.
"Yeah, I'm fine" Taylor forced a smile, bending down to place the plate in the dishwasher.

Truthfully, she wasn't okay. She wasn't okay, and she wasn't sure why. She couldn't exactly talk to Travis about it, because what would she say? 'Oh yeah, I'm at the best point in my life right now and everything is amazing but I'm still depressed'. Like what? How selfish would that sound?

Taylor was at the best point in her life; her career was at its peak, with her close to being the most famous person in the world. She had a loving boyfriend, soon to be fiancee, and three cats. She was healthy, as was her family, and everything was perfect. What more could she want?

But she was still miserable, and she wasn't sure why. Travis has started to notice the signs; her zoning out in the middle of conversations, her forced smiles, the amount of time she spent locked away, alone. Of course in a relationship it was normal, healthy to have personal space, but Travis was starting to worry. She was seeing her family less, her friends less; spending all day every day shut up alone.

"Taylor?" Travis was standing now, looking at her worriedly.
"Yeah?" Taylor replied, avoiding eye contact as she continued scrubbing the pan.
"Can you turn off the tap please?" She did, and he gently took her arm, leading her away. Taylor dried her hands on her trousers, looking anywhere but Travis's face.
"Are you sure you're okay baby? You can talk to me, I just want to help you" He took her hands in his, rubbing circles on her palms. Taylor stared at their intertwined hands, feeling a lump building in the back of her throat.
"Yeah, I'm fine" she nodded, her smile tight.
"Taylor? Could you look at me please?" Travis was being so gentle, so kind, and Taylor felt terrible. She tore her eyes away from the floor, bringing them up to meet Travis's eyes, filled with concern. She bit her lip, quickly glancing to the side.
"Something's wrong, and I understand that you don't want to tell me, but... I'm scared. Taylor, do I need to be scared?" His hands squeezed hers and the lump in the back of her throat intensified as she shook her head quickly. The last thing she wanted was to worry him.
"No, no, I'm fine" she insisted, but Travis could see right through her.

He bought his hand up to her face, gently brushing back some stray hairs.
"I love you baby, you know that, right?" His voice was soft, gentle, filled with concern. He cared. Taylor nodded tightly, her smile once again fake, not meeting her eyes.
"Um, I'm going to go to the toilet" she pulled away from him as she turned to leave the room, suddenly having a strong need to be alone. She could feel his eyes boring into her back as she left, and it took everything in her not to turn around and run back into his arms.

It had been almost a month since that one time where Travis tried to get Taylor to open up, and since then she had just been sinking further and further into her hole of depression. Travis had tried multiple times to get her to open up and every time it has ended in an argument, or Taylor just going somewhere to be alone. He was getting increasingly more worried, but each time he recommended therapy or talking to someone else Taylor would adamantly refuse.

Taylor felt horrible, forcing Travis to put up with her and her ways. She was surprised he hadn't broken up with her yet, she was just a shell of her old self. She just laid in bed most days, barely eating, barely drinking. Almost never helping out around the house, just wallowing in her own thoughts. Every day without fail she thought about breaking up with Travis; it wasn't what she wanted, but she didn't know why he hadnt done it already.