Dear Elise

Chapter 15

Clearer than anything... yes, that moment was clear as glass to me, too. And, reading this, I can almost hear her. She truly is that unapologetic and stubborn.
It takes only a minute to make my decision, if that. Well, was it ever a decision at all?
Because as I stand outside Sam's door, even after the stress the situation has caused me, I can't think of a single thing I'd want her to apologise for less.
As soon as she flings the door open, I'm hugging her, and I don't have to worry about her not wanting it because she's hugging me too, so hard it almost hurts.
She pulls away, her smile more hesitant, and I have to stop myself from pulling her back.
"Hey, Elise."
I try to respond and find that I can't. I can't find the words to express what I truly want to tell her - or I do, but I can't say them.

Thankfully, she fills the silence for me.
"Listen, I really am sorry for what I did. And I really hope that, even though I felt like that for you, we can still be friends, because you're an amazing person, and I don't want to lose you." I swallow the lump in my throat, determined not to cry. "Sam, of course we can. Of course we can, why wouldn't I want to be friends with you?"
The word 'friends' hangs between us. At this point, it's obvious that's not what either of us want, but keeping up the bluff is so much easier than dealing with all the complications anything else would bring.
Still, I feel that familiar warm sensation in my chest when Sam grabs my hand and pulls me into her room. I close the door, watching as she hurries over to her closet.

"But, uh... Sam, what are you doing?" She turns and grins in response, holding out a dress. It's very simple, made of some kind of cheap cotton, and looks about my size.
"Well, as always, I have a plan. So you need a disguise."
"A disguise?" I ask, honestly quite worried about this 'plan' that she's come up with.
"Relax." She throws the dress, and I fumble as I try to catch it, eventually managing to drop it. I'm glad Sam's facing the other direction, still digging through her closet.
"This isn't anything bad. Just visiting a friend."
I pick up the dress, looking at it, and frown. "This looks like... oh. Does your friend work at the palace?"
She turns around and nods, now holding more clothes.
"Now go on, get changed. You can use the bathroom."
I sigh, deciding not to argue. But despite my exasperation at this very sudden 'plan', I'm smiling. It's good to let go of that anxiety, and just have fun with Sam's crazy ideas again.

When I manage to do up the buttons on the back of the dress (very difficult without my maids to help) the dress falls about three quarters of the way down my legs. The sleeves reach my elbows, which irritates me slightly. Why couldn't they be full length? I sigh, walking back into the room, where Sam is waiting for me.
"Are you going to tell me why I'm wearing this now?"
Sam, now dressed in plain black trousers and an old shirt, grins at me as she walks over.
"Well I thought, after all the sparkle and stuff of the palace, we could use some normalcy."

She walks to stand behind me, and my heart seems to stop and speed up at the same time as she reaches for the back of my dress. I feel a slight tug as she does up the top button on the back of the dress. I hadn't even noticed I'd missed it...
And Sam doesn't even seem to notice how red my face has become, which is a small mercy.
"Come on Elise, we're going to cook."

We're going to what?

As she pulls me through the corridors, I have plenty of time to think about the last time I tried to cook. Unfortunately.
The last time I was in the kitchen, I was trying to make cookies on a warm Sunday afternoon. The clearest memory I have from that day is my brothers desperately trying to waft smoke away from the wailing smoke alarm, so I really hope that Sam is better at this than me.
"One of my maids used to work in the kitchens, so she's been teaching me some stuff." The second I look at Sam in relief, she bursts out laughing.
"Thought so. You looked terrified." I frown.
"Thought what?"
"You can't cook."
Well, she's not wrong. I even crack a small smile as she continues to laugh. It's gorgeous, the way she laughs. That sound, to me, has become a representation of pure joy.