Fouled By Fate

Chapter One

Ashley

Pills clatter out of my hand and scatter across the floor. "I don't want any drugs! Get that shit away from me!" My father yells as he smacks them from my grasp.

I drop onto my knees and frantically scoop them back up. "I know. I know you don't like them, but you have to take them remember?" I say as I snatch the last one up. I blow them off in my hand; the five-second rule coming into play. After my fiasco earlier today, we can't afford to waste even one of these little suckers—every little pill counts. We can't afford to waste any of them.

"I'm fine! I've never been sick a day in my life!" He roars. His dark blue eyes are wide with panicked confusion.

I feel bad as I straighten up and retrieve the glass of water I got for him from his nightstand. I should have given him this medication almost two hours ago. I've messed up his routine and caused him unnecessary stress. I take a deep breath to calm my nerves. It's not his fault. It's not his fault, I remind myself. "Dad, this will help you sleep. You've had such a long day at work and it's already so late. You need as much rest as you can get before work tomorrow right?" I say gently. The words come easier every time I say them. A deep ache pains my chest as I allow the lies to slip from my mouth so genuinely.

His face crinkles up in confusion as he listens to my words. "Work? Yeah, yeah you're right. I guess, but I've never had to take medicine to help me sleep before. Normally, I'm so exhausted by the time I make it to my bed I just pass out as soon as I lay down." He sighs defeatedly as he sinks back against his pillows, so willingly accepting the delusion that I offer him. Even though it's almost like a part of him knows that it's a lie. It's easier for him to pretend though. Easier for him to understand. So much easier than the truth.

I sigh in relief and hand over his medication and glass of water. "That's the spirit. I'm sorry I'm a little late. There was an issue at the pharmacy." I apologize as I take a seat on the chair in the corner of his room. Even though I've already messed up his routine, it's important that I stay as close to it as I can to give him a sense of normalcy.

"What happened?" He asks.

I take a deep breath. Even though I know he won't remember it, it feels good to talk to him as he falls asleep every night. "Well, apparently it isn't enough that they've stopped your trials and appointments due to our lack of funding. Now, they're trying to take away your medicine."

"Ah, well, that's okay. I don't need medicine anyway. Like I said, I've never needed any medicine to help me sleep before. Just tell them to cancel it. Easy peasy, honey. You should have come to me sooner; you know I'm always here for you." He smiles at me.

Even if most of our conversations are a lie, I know with absolute certainty that he is telling the truth. My father was always there for me whenever I needed him growing up. He supported me enough to make up for my mother's early death. We didn't have it easy, but he always did everything he could for me.

"You do need the medicine, Dad. I wish you didn't, but you do. You're sick. You're sick and there's no cure for what you have. There's no cure, and we can't afford for you to participate in any more trials or to see any more specialists. We're completely broke and hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt. This medicine is all we have right now, and at the rate that we're going who knows how much longer we'll be able to keep it. Things are starting to flood, Dad, and I don't know how much longer we're going to be able to float before we're totally pulled under." I ramble, letting it all tumble out into the open. My eyes fly to his face in a panic, thinking that I've said too much. A nervous chuckle escapes me as I realize that he's sound asleep. It's nice to be able to air all my worries out into the open like this.