Rediscovering Us

A Nice Conversation

Next thing I know, I'm being dragged up to the roof by my wrist. 

Once we're there, he just pushes me out the door. I'm not sure what to think, he looks angry? Or maybe confused, I'm not really sure. 

I do know though why he's brought me up here, I've been waiting for him to confront me. Though, it stresses me out slightly, I'm not sure how this is going to go, I don't know what to say or do.

"You were All Might Lover?" I'm not sure how you'd describe his expression, almost scared, which isn't something I've seen on Kacchan before. 

"Well, yeah, I was, or am." I can't help but stutter it out, this is not a situation I would have expected to be in. No matter how much I've thought about this inevitable moment over the last little while, that doesn't make up for how unexpected it was.

He just stares into my eyes for a while, and I can't blame him for how awkward he's being. His expression shows so many different emotions, yet there's still no hint to how this will go. I'm so stressed, I've never been this stressed with Kacchan. At least when he was bullying me, I knew how things were going to go.

Suddenly, he looks away and walks over to the wall. He leans against it, his expression now leaning a lot more toward stressed. 

"So, we dated then? Seriously, us?" He refuses to look toward me, instead choosing to look off to the view off the building.

"Yeah, we did." I join him by the wall, keeping my distance though, to avoid being blown up. "I was surprised at first too, freaked me out I guess."

"Too surprised to DM me back? Ever?" He retorts, much too quickly, it's obvious he's been thinking about it for a while now, and that makes me feel bad. Though, I suppose I should feel bad, I could have said something, anything, and it would have been better than abandoning him like that.

"Right, I'm sorry, Kacchan. It was middle school, so you know, I didn't know what to do"

"I probably would have done the same." He says, though I'm not sure that helps, his social skills aren't really one of his qualities that I look up to. He makes up for it with his hero stuff though.

It's quiet for a while after that, neither of us sure what to say, or do. It's somehow simultaneously an awkward silence and a comfortable one. We are just standing there, against the wall, looking at the beautiful view.

It takes a long time for anything to be said but, unsurprisingly, it's Kacchan that says something.

"I'm sorry about middle school, you know. Like, genuinely." He says, which surprises me, but also disappoints me a little. Of course he apologises when he realises he actually liked the person he bullied, and not because he feels bad. 

"Sorry because you realised I'm actually likeable?" I retort, which surprises both of us. Sure, I've made sassy retorts before, but never at Kacchan. I've made them toward my friends, my mum, or to myself about other people, including Kacchan, but never actually said something like that to him.

He pauses for a bit, genuinely taking in what I said, which is surprising coming from him, but I doubt it ever won't be. Throughout all the years I've known Kacchan, he has never really been one to listen to other people, especially not me. He's never truly listened to me. 

Except when I was AllM!ght.l0ver. 

"That's fair, I guess, but no. I never really realised how bad I was to you." He starts, avoiding eye contact as if it were deadly. "I mean, I've always wanted to be a hero. So, I suppose I never really thought of myself as being capable of doing that much harm."

Well, that definitely isn't what I would have expected him to say. It kind of makes me feel bad, like he's realising right now that he is capable of harm and he has caused harm, finding that out all at once would be gut wrenching. 

"That's why I was always empathetic when you talked to me online, but continued to be the cause of it all in real life." He continues, and the thoughts I've been questioning since middle school, for over a whole year, have been answered, they all make so much sense now. "So, I'm not apologising because I realised you're likeable, I'm apologising because I've realised I'm not."

What? He is likeable, and he has to know that. There's no way he really thinks he isn't.

"I mean, I dated you, didn't I? So clearly you're likeable." I rebuttal, probably a bit too quickly.

And he laughs. Well, chuckles would be more accurate, but still. I've not seen him show a sign of genuine happiness in years, and it's such a beautiful thing. He's such a beautiful thing.

"That was me without all the bad parts though, Deku, so it wasn't completely accurate."

"Well, I've always considered you a friend. I know you haven't considered me one, but still. So, even with the worse parts, you're still likeable, Kacchan." It comes out way too fast, like I didn't even need to think about it, I never needed to consider it. He is my friend, always has been and always will be, and I love him. All of him.

"I'm your friend? You can't be serious, Deku. I treat you like shit."

"Treated." I correct, because, at least in my eyes, he doesn't anymore. He is amazing in every way, and he is kinder, even if he doesn't always show it.

"Treat. Deku, I still do. I call you Deku, I mock you, I make fun of you, that's treating you like shit."

"But you don't mean it anymore, and besides, I kinda like 'Deku' now, it's grown on me." Which is true, the nickname doesn't bother me anymore, and I've really grown to like it. Deku isn't a weak, useless, quirkless kid anymore, Deku is a hero.

"God, Izuku, listen to me." He says, and his face looks like he's in pain. But he's not injured, I'd know, which is actually more worrying. Plus, he said 'Izuku,' like my real name. Which definitely catches my attention. 

"Kacchan, what do you mean? I am listening."

"You're not though, Izuku. Just because the name doesn't bother you anymore, and just because I don't fully mean it when I'm a dick, doesn't make it okay. You have to know that." He looks hurt, worried maybe. 

"I know, sure it wasn't great, but I'm just saying that it doesn't change that you're a friend to me."

At least I think he is. A friend.

He smiles, though only for a second, as if he were trying to hide it. Which he probably is.

"Well then, I'm glad." He says, and he walks back to the door to leave down the stairs. Before he leaves, he pauses and looks at me. "I need you to tell me off if I begin to treat you like shit again, stand up for yourself, we both know you're able to now."

He practically runs down the stairs before I can even respond. 

Although strange, it was a nice conversation. We're kind of mutual friends now.