Seriously? The Principal?

《~•Chapter 1•~ The Letter》

I layed on my bed, staring at the scholarship letter I had received from one of the best schools in the US. Why? You are not alone, I am wondering the same question. Why do I even need to think? I applied for it, I knew my capability, I saw the letter coming, then why think now?

You are most likely thinking of which school the scholarship is from. It's from none other than Limberton Academy, a haven of endless opportunities for those with limitless dreams. This school is undeniably better than most others, and most definitely from the one I currently study at. Now that I come to think of it, I don't even know why I am second guessing myself. I am not usually a indecisive person, I know how to think straight, I know what I want and how to obtain it.

I am not the kind of person to be governed by stupid and dumb emotions, emotions lead to failure, practicality is what matters. However,  I can not deny the fact that the thought of moving 8 hours away from home somewhat makes me wistful. It's not like I have an awesome,  caring little family to look back to. My father is a forgotten man, he died when I was 9 and I have to admit I am glad for that. I could not bear him to ruin my life like he ruined my mother's. My mother was an alcoholic, a drug addict, a ruined woman. I guess she did try to give me and my sister the life we deserved, but she was just pushed by my father at a point where she just couldn't care less about anything really. She drank all day, she took drugs only to pass out and forget his infidelity. I came back home everyday from elementary school only to see my mother passed out on the couch. She eventually passed away 3 years ago, and honestly, I am also extremely grateful for that, I could not watch my sister suffer any longer. Yes, my sister, my real mother, and father. She is basically my entire family and I am really grateful for God to have given me her. She could give her life for me. She is currently 24 working as a software designer. My sister, Rosaline Elstone is my role model. Yes, our ideas or goals may not be the same but she is someone I would always look upto. She has tried for her entire life to make my life better. She protected me from our father, the cruel monster, even though she herself was only 16 at the time. She cleaned after my mother's mess and dealt with her and still played with me at the end of the day with a bright smile on her face.

I get understand it now. The thought of leaving behind my older sister, who never made me feel lonely even once in my life, alone in this small town, is what that really haunts me. But a part of me knows that my sister always would want me to become the best version of myself and accomplish all that I can. I finally put down the letter on my bed, and get up.

I find tears trickling down my face. I quickly wipe it away. I have always hated tears, tears symbolise weakness. I don't want to ever appear weak to anyone, even my own self. Its not that I do not have emotions but I guess I know how to repress them to some extent. I am, you can say, rehearsing so that no emotions ever will be able to affect me in life or get in the pathway of my success.

Enough about me, let's skip forward a few more days. 9th August, yes, thats the date. The day of my enrollment to Limberton Academy. I am currently arranging all the last minute essentials I am going to need in a small transparent zipped pouch. Uh I can't find one my of airbuds. I am aware that I have another pair but I need to find the other one of this pair. I have been looking for it for the past 15 minutes with no success.

"Izzy, What are you even doing? Come down, we are gonna get late" my sister called from downstairs. Fuck. I totally lost track of time while finding my airbuds. It's good that that I am dressed and have everything packed up but I NEED to the find the other airbud. I can't leave without that. Its not that I am going to 100 percent need it, maybe not even 10 percent. But I just can't bear wih the fact that I am not going to have it while I am at Limberton.

"Izzy come on down. NOW."

I have accepted my faith. I have looked every nook and corner, it's just not meant to be found I guess. I quickly grab my 2 trolleys, 3 hand bags and a bag that goes around my waist. Sounds like too much stuff to bring to school? Maybe, but that's not even a quarter of what I was supposed to bring but my sister said that they were too unnecessary. I quickly hurry down the flight of stairs of our house which is quite long because our house is quite big and grand honestly. We are not exactly super rich, but we are not financially troubled and we have more than enough money for the both of us and also the house and cars left by our parents.

I come down to see my sister standing in her favourite pair of shorts and crop top with shrug on, at the pavement of our house, ready to make her way to her car. I too quickly make my way there, and take a short glance at the living room mirror to check if I looked alright. In case you are wondering then, I was dressed in a pair of ripped jeans, a white tube top layered with my favourite Varsity jacket and a pair of black converse. Pretty basic if you ask me, but I couldn't really care less. I am not one of those girls who would say they don't care about the way they look and are not into girly clothing. Yes, I do care about how I look, for some occasions if I look presentable or not and for others if I look pretty enough or not. I think your outfits tells a lot about you so I do think it matters, atleast most of the times.

I get onto my sister's Ben Z inherited from my mother. She usually drives her own car but she wanted to have a somewhat essence of my mother on my special day of moving to a brand new place. I am not really a fan of the idea. I mean our mother is dead. There is no such thing as "essence" but I guess if she's happy that way then I am happy too. She starts the car, I look through the windows, slowly watching our house fading away in the distance as we move forward. I don't let it affect me. After all, this was always the goal, watching the past fading away behind me, while I always focus on moving forward. I am only 16, it may seem like I don't know what I am talking about but I am not afraid of letting go of anyone or anything except my sister ofcourse.

Halfway through our drive while passing though the suburbs, I suddenly burst out crying because I couldn't find the other of my airbuds. It's probably my OCD kicking in. When my sister asked the reason, I gave her the exact same reason. But I guess her reply gave me a bit of a reality check.

"Why are you crying Izzy? Are you OK?"

"Yes I am OK, I am crying because I couldn't find the other one of my airbuds".

"They are literally in your ears right now, what are you even talking about?"

"Not this pair, the left one of the other pair that I own. The backup one"

"You are crying because you couldn't find one of the two airbuds of your backup pair that you probably don't even need since you never lose anything"

"Yep but that's not true I literally lost the airbud".

"Yeah right".

"Why did you say it like that?

"Stop playing, Izzie Wizze. I am your elder sister. I have known you from the tomb, I have changed your nappies I know exactly when you are lying".

"I am NOT lying to you right now".

"Yes, you are not lying to me but you are lying to yourself, you are crying because you are afraid and sad of moving away, but you don't let yourself EVER think that, so you think you're crying for the freaking airbud but deep down, the reason is different. It's ok to not be ok. Stop trying to repress your emotions".

"Emotions are a weakness, and I don't ever wanna be weak" I cried out even louder.

My sister comforted by side hugging me while driving and said "It's ok baby, it's ok. I know sometimes emotions can be hard to feel and it can also affect  sometimes but you know sometimes, they can make you feel happy, really really happy. And I know you feel the happy emotions, then why not the others? All are equally important Lil sis"

I let out a small giggle, I wouldn't say my mind has been changed so much by what she said, but I'm glad she said it. My sister really IS my role model.