Racing Hearts ║ F1

1.

It was only meant to be a light-hearted comment, but Carlos couldn't help but feel agonisingly exposed and upset. He had never been the first driver. Not in Torro Rosso, hidden behind the rising star of Max Vestappen who exhaled the future of Red Bull. Not in Renault, being out-driven by Nico Hulkenberg. It could be argued that he was the better driver out of himself and Lando Norris, however Lando was destined to become McLaren's golden boy, which Carlos only encountered in Ferrari with Charles Leclerc, who the team openly prioritised. 

Still, he tried his utmost best. He would never admit to himself that he was the second driver, no one on the grid would. That would be the same as admitting defeat. He wasn't one to stick to a team, his previous partners being molded for them. No, he had debuted at Torro Rosso, the beginning of his journey. He took brief refuge in Renault, lived some of his best days so far in McLaren, only make his next leap into Ferarri, his childhood dream. 

However, he knew deep down that this may not be the case for much longer. He, unlike Charles, did not bleed Rosso Corsa. He was not given a contract at the beginning of the year. He had been replaced, by Sir Lewis Hamilton no less. He couldn't for the life of him understand why. It was his eleventh year in the Silver Arrows, what could possibly have compelled him to... It's everyone's dream to race for Ferrari.

He had managed to bury his true feelings deep down, hiding them from everyone, especially his Charles as he was the last person he wanted pity from. He hadn't even confided in Lando, who had previously asked Carlos if he was okay, to which Carlos responded with shrugged shoulders and a small grin. "It is what it is, nothing lasts forever."

He prided himself in his ability to separate his friendships with the drivers on the paddock from the track. Besides the whole situation with Piastri of course, but obviously that was the Aussie's fault entirely. He had, four years later, managed to create a strong friendship with Lando, who he still considered his paddock best friend. They rarely argued, Carlos couldn't think of an occasion where they were genuinely annoyed at each other. The media called their friendship rare, Carlos called it mutual respect, which was hard to come by.

It was a while back, give or take a year, that Carlos had begun to develop feelings for his best friend and ex-teammate, ones that he would never allow any one else to find out. Besides his siblings, of course. When he had come out to them as bisexual all those years ago, they were shocked to say the least, but really supportive, as were his parents, who were simply happy as long as he was. Bianca had discovered that his bi awakening had been one of the boys she had brought home when he was ten, which she found hilarious. 

He wasn't a hundred percent sure Lando was straight himself, however he wasn't going to pry. He knew that some day, preferably sooner than later, he would express his ever growing feelings to Lando but was unsure of how show the complexity of his emotions without jeopardising their close relationship. 

"I don't know how you do it, I ache all over mate," Charles huffed out as they cycled up the straight of the circuit they were set to race in the next upcoming days. Carlos and Pierre had dragged out both Lando and Charles for a few laps around the track because they both enjoyed cycling. 

 "Simple, I enjoy it, it's... refreshing," Pierre replied, cycling next to his good friend. 

"Its mental that you both find this fun, if I'm caught out in Q1 then I'll know who to blame," Complained Lando as Carlos rolled his eyes, grinning.

"It's good to actually get out of the hotel, Landito, breathe fresh air every once in a while." Carlos teased as he lent slightly to the right, entering the third corner of the track. 

"Oh, and here comes Lando Norris, through the inside..." He peddled quickly round Carlos who was leisurely gliding round the bend. "And overtakes Sainz, leaving him in his shadow where he belongs, Woo!"