Damned Pride

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I have recently re-read Naruto for the first time in almost ten years, and I felt the need to translate my own fics from my mother tongue to English.

This is a re-work and translation from French of my very first fic "Foutue Fierté" on fanfiction.com I ever posted, I hope you will enjoy it!

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His breathing was shallow, a heart-rending sound coming out of his parched throat every few seconds.

Sasuke was exhausted, having ran away like a madman, further away from everything. He was laying in a clearing in the woods, watching the sky filter through the branches.

There were blue flowers in the lush grass he was laying in, and the blades of grass tickled his nape.

Just like in the vision of some dream, there was a lake nearby. The sunbeams were slow to disappear from the cloudy surface, reluctant to make way for the blurred stars on the stretch of water.

It was raining, drops running down his cheeks, mixing with saltier ones. They seeped into his pores. Despite the rain, Sasuke wasn't cold. He wasn't hot either, though his skin was cold to the touch, akin to marble, and sickly pale to anyone unfamiliar with the boy's clans predispositions

Only a few and recent cuts marred the fairness of his skin.

Dark locks of hair framed his androgynous face, sticky in some places, spattered with blood. Some thinner strands rested on his forehead, reaching his lashes and making him blink repetitively to push them away. His red-bitten lips the only colour on his face, contrast stark between them and the paleness of his complexion.

He sat up, crossed legged, putting his face in his hands. A wail slipped from his lips.

He wasn't hurt, at least not physically. In the depths of his body, though, his heart beat inconsistently, as if hesitating about carrying on at each beat. The pain wasn't unfamiliar, his broken heart falling apart yet again. He had the impression of a hand wrapped around his heart, clenching its fist, crushing his organ.

Sasuke despised himself, blamed himself, the same sentence running though his mind constantly, like a chorus he was unable to forget. The thought was even more hurtful paired with the fact that it was anything but right. But his troubled mind had formed the thought, and he couldn't seem to be able to get it out of his mind, no matter how wrong he was.

'I betrayed him. He hates me.' He thought. 'I abandoned him for revenge. He's going to forget me.' Ran through his mind. 'I hurt him despite the fact that he is the only one I ever truly loved.'

A sob escaped his lips as the stream of tears down his cheeks intensified. He was a coward, a weak man.

Damned pride. Had he had the semblance of a clear mind, he would have overlooked it. But no, he had ran away while Naruto was unconscious, laying on the muddied ground.

How enraged he was with himself, to have left Naruto alone. The blonde was injured, and probably badly. He was in danger, alone under the two stone giants.

Sasuke had been able to press his forehead against his for a moment. Just a few seconds, but those were the toughest of his life.

How he would have loved to press his lips against Naruto's, just for a moment, the time of a kiss. Only to tell him goodbye, not as a farewell.

He had struggled against himself to leave, only convinced by the blond's almost peaceful sleeping face. This and the fact that, after all, Naruto didn't need him. That he would be better off without him.

'And I'd only bring him trouble if I stayed by his side, anyway.' He had thought.

He had done him enough harm, already.

And, anyway, it was the blond's fault if Sasuke had ran away. To see him look at Sakura with puppy eyes everyday-long wounded Sasuke more than he'd like to admit, and Hinata's lovey gaze only worsened things.

So, yes, he'd fled. Left Konoha to kill his brother, as he had always intended to. He would kill him with his bare hands, without anyone's help. Orochimaru could just as well find another underling.

Sasuke threw his head back towards the sky, looking at the stars silently before he looked down and around him, assessing his surroundings he had not quite taken the time to see properly. The place seemed perfect to spend the night, and a few days if needed.

He stood up, walking close to the small lake. It had stopped raining, no longer linking up the canopy of heaven with the muddy ground. Sasuke watched his reflection in the water, barely discerning his own face.

'Of course the moon would pick this night to go hiding.' He thought, a sad smile on his disillusioned face.

He stepped away and stumbled towards a large tree, its foliage shielding him from a potential shower. He toppled to the ground before he could reach the trunk, exhausted.

His eyes fluttered, his blond's smiling face appearing before his eyes, before it vanished as quickly. 'My blond?' he thought. 'If only...' he started, as his voice cracked.

'Naruto, forgive me..' he murmured breathlessly. 'I'm so, so, sorry... Naruto I–...' His eyes fluttered shut before he could finish his sentence, exhaustion washing over him before he could finish his sentence.

A tear rolled down the side of his nose, drawing a faint crease on his fair skin, brushing the corner of his lips, to finally fall to the ground, vanishing amongst the blades of grass.

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Ahhh my first ever fic, now available in English! I posted it almost 10 years ago ugghhhh I don't know what to do with this information. It's so weird, but I like it.

I might translate other fics, and maybe I'll write brand new ones in the future, who knows!

Anyway, if you enjoyed the fic please think about leaving a comment and kudos, it's nice to receive it and it tells me people read the fic!

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